He is in replay, and this is all about emotions. Yes, he will still probably begin to wind down in a year or so. Just because you have been served papers doesn't mean that this Divorce will go through. Please do not be accomodating. Let him do all of the footwork and bide your time.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
I have 21 days to sign then what else can I do to stall?
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
I do not know much about the legalities of things as they vary from State to State. But I do know that Divorces can be contested. From what you have posted you have to sign and return the papers in 21 days, that is IF you agree to everything. If you do not agree to whatever you have received then your Lawyer can respond and this will buy you more time. If however you have changed your mind and it is all clear cut and dried, then only you can make the decision.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
It will take time to go thru all of his financials......because he has a mess of companies and nowhere on there did he say alimony etc which of course he isnt gonna way pay
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
So, this is good. Let your attorney deal with his attorney. You stay in the background and detach, properly. STOP mentioning OW each time you see him. STOP anything that would be considered needy or pursuing behavior. Focus on yourself and getting strong again. Once this man hits rock bottom it will be ugly and you will need to be strong enough emotionally to handle that.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
well I brought the paper home to sign and give him.....rather than have the L fax to his L which would have gotten things going asap ...was that the right thing to do? But when i do MY L is gonna send a list over to his of info he needs and things we are asking for along with additional info they are not aware of like no groceries for you this week! Yet he lives in an apt he owns so he zero living expenses except for food
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
I had sent H a heartfelt e-mail last nite.....not needy or persuing just how I felt.....I know he feels very strong he is not in mlc...but not to be angry about it. I told him...mlc, a crisis, a depression, a blip on the radar, call it what you will he was not the man I married but i believed he will return...not sure when but he will. That I was out of allies.....I was standing alone for something I believed in. I went on to explain how legal seperation was done to me...but if D was what he truely wanted I would do as he wanted......Today on the phone he said he was answering my email....and he would consider legal seperation after he got to talk to his L about it. I guess I cant ask anymore of him huh? I was gonna give him paper back tomorrow ....should I hold on to this longer til after he talks to L?
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Yes, let him talk to the Lawyer. MLC'ers flip flop around so much and it is probably best to wait to sign the papers once things a little more settled. If he wants to change things to a legal separation wait until you receive those papers. Please stop trying to explain about MLC to him. It is like telling an alcoholic that they have a drinking problem and they are not ready to accept it. As far as your Husband is concerned, he is perfectly OK and has made new lifestyle choices for himself. Let him believe what he wants, there is no point in trying to be rational or logical.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Am reading excellent book about "us" but instead of calling us "dumpees" the author refers to it as "CUT LOOSE" and it is very detailed in its' study of MLC and WASs' . Lots of research in it, but many chapters with personal stories of survival, some reconciliations, and lots of growth. Helps me "get" things more. And PWS, my H is definitely coming out of the tunnel towards family/and our M. He has been gone for 18 months, visiting monthly....long story. But wanted to give you that time line. I started DBing one year ago. Some results were small but almost immediate. Detaching, truly, is what I did. I have NO idea whether that changed H, or other things beyond the scope of this note, but detaching helped ME.
Time wise, my Point is, you have a ways to go, even if things work out really well. Sorry to say that, but the good news is that it's way too early to give up hope.
The book discusses men's MLCs and their reasons, fears, etc. Helped me remember that this is NOT about me much. Mostly about them and they don't even know that sometimes..... either way, all that you've heard about GAL is true, no matter what choices you make, you must G:A L to achieve any of them. Good luck, God Bless, j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
