Gee, I wish I felt like an inspiration today. Just having a day where I feel H will never be totally out of MLC, even if replay is over. I look for his internal changes but sometimes only see old habits, irritability, not communicating emotions or feelings,etc. I don't feel very loved or desired right now even if he is home.
Time to read DB/DR again I guess. Somedays I just feel alone in this marriage and am just tired of feeling unloved.
In his irritable mood tonight, he spoke rudely and disrespectful to me and when I called him on his behavior (in a quiet and calm way) he was so defensive, totally turned it around like I made no sense. All I wanted was him to acknowledge my feelings of hurt when he uses a negative, parental tone talking to me.
It felt like old conversations, before replay, and that made me uncomfortable. We haven't spoken since, I am at work but we have left messages back and forth.
He seems incapable of hearing my needs (you know his needs/her needs) though he has told me his and I work on meeting them. He never wants to hear that I need nice personal conversation from him,( not just about kids and his job) maybe a hug and some physical touch (he still can't kiss me, but ML is OK!? Kissing is too intimate for him!!)
So am I just to supress my needs? I am then afraid I will get resentful and have a MLC myself. Sometimes I am just tired of being the only one working on this M. He feels just my him moving home that should be enough!!
Advice anyone?
Wed2
wed2alien
Both 49, M 23 years 3 teens April 2004- bomb, moved out April 2006-Ended with OW for the LAST time May 2006- He wants to work on the marriage!! Nov 2006-- Moved home May 2008- Things still getting better
