Way to go, Zebra! Your patience has indeed paid off!
I read your progress and wonder if I can also do what you did. If you remember, I moved out (at W's pleading) back in May. Against your advice! Now I'm thinking of forcing the issue and moving back in, with the very real chance she will move out, taking the kids. So, the wheel turns.
You got exactly what you deserved and I couldn't be happier. Sometimes it seems that this world is a brutal and unfair place and other times not. Congrats to you.
It's going along quite well. Still slowly, but in a positive direction. I've been reading a lot of stuff by Willard Harley lately (marriagebuilders.com). I mean no disrespect to Michele by mentioning that site here. I truly owe her a debt I can never repay for her making this site available. But, this site is Divorce Busting. I think I've succeeded in that. Harley's site is "marriagebuilders", and that's something I never really worked hard at, and why I arrived here. I think many of us here in "Piecing..." could use some of the techniques Harley espouses to. I'm sure learning a lot, and W is responding positively, and it fits with C's work. Harley is a bit hardnosed, but there is much wisdom in what he says. I don't participate in the boards there, I just read.
I'm currently reading Harley's book "Surviving an Affair", as the suggestion of our C. It's eye-opening. I hope I can get W to read it. I believe her biggest objection would be that her job requires a lot of reading, so reading of this sort is a real P.I.T.A. But I hope she will. I read a lot of stuff on his web site, but this is clearer.
Best wishes to you, t. Best wishes to everyone here.
Hey,Z happy new year...so glad to hear things are going so smooth..what we all hope for I am sure...I am so envious although I know you were at the same stages that all of have been at one time or another..hope..faith.. PATIENCE..I am going to check out that other site. Best wishes to your family Sue
I'm always so glad to see you post! Thank you so much for all of your wonderful, insightful advice and for your constant encouragement and faith in me that I will win at this. I'm not as confident about that sometimes but it always gives a boost when someone else tells me I'm doing okay.
I'm so glad to hear that things are moving forward positively for you albeit slowly. It is still progress! I think your right that the marrigebuilders site is good once the divorce is busted. I actually ordered the Love Busters book and His Needs Her Needs book and workbook a while back, but have yet to delve into them. Of course it would be great if H would participate but he just doesn't get into that type of thing. I'll have to check out the Surviving an Affair. Like I said on my thread, I shyed away from Harley a bit after holding on too tightly to his idea that no contact should continue between the spouse and OP. But now I have all this wonderful knowledge from Michelle's book and BB that I think I can overlook that. You and I both know this doesn't or can't always apply. Or that's it just not that cut and dry.
Please keep giving a quick update every so often when you get the chance. Your doing so great!!
Thanks for your post to me. I always appreciate your thoughts and advice. We do seem to be living parallel lives. It's kind of scary that ours is not a unique situation. I wonder how many others live it that we'll never even know. Can't wait to chat w/you one day.
I hope things are going well and that you and your W have a very wonderful Valentines Day. Your always in my thoughts.
Funny you should post... I'm writing this while taking a break from catching up on your thread....
I'm doing really well... So is W!!!
As I've said before, we HAVE busted the divorce, now we are just trying to salvage the marriage, and it seems to be all about communication. It's a hard road. I see you going through stuff I went through. I see you doing well, making mistakes, learning. I can't really advise, but I follow your story and I comment when I think I can help. You are a smart lady, LL. You can win this. Just don't try to hard to WIN.
Quote: I see you doing well, making mistakes, learning. I can't really advise, but I follow your story and I comment when I think I can help.
any comments at all can help...infact I will admit to feeling a bit of dissapointment when I see that you've been around and not stopped by, not realizing that you may have but just not said so...I know I can be a pain in the butt at times but I always value your input.
