I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter. Were they able to get it out before it burst? I hope her recovery is going well. I know it can be hard.
When I was 12 I had a terrible violent vomiting on a Sat. and was sick w/a fever for two days. I then had terrible side pain but just thought it was a pulled muscle from getting sick, so tried not to make a big deal of it to my mom. Until it got unbearable and my temp was 105, it was Tues early AM before we went to the hospital and 4 pm before opperation. They said my appendix had been burst since Sat. and I had developed peritonitis. Luckily, they said my pancreas saved me by moving over and containg some poison. I recovered well though.
I hope they were able to get to hers before it burst. Please give your little girl an extra hug for me. It is amazing how things like this can bond people. Especially parents. I hope things are still going well for you and your wife.
BTW, you are more than welcome to join us for a VA-MD-DC get together. Although, it would be quite a drive, you are in NY, right? I keep hearing rumor of an East Coast get together. If they do, I will try to make it, I hope you could too. It would be so GREAT to meet you in person. The one who has the most simlar sitch, a mirror image almost. You've given such great advice to me. I've really learned a lot from you.
Take care of you and yours. I'll pray for your little angel.
Thanks to all for your concern and well-wishes about my little angel!
She's great (and very well, too). Friday started out with a "tummy ache", ended with an appendectomy (nothing like your horror story, Laney). Mommy stayed with her Friday and Saturday night in hospital, and she came home Sunday morning. In the Hospital, nurses were amazed at her recovery, walking Saturday morning, general great spirits (that's my angel). Sunday, she insisted that she wanted to go to school Monday (she loves school). I made a deal with her that if she felt fine in the morning, she could go, and I'd pick her up at lunchtime. And that's how it happened. Doctors said this was fantastic, both her ability and energy to do this, and my idea about half day to preserve her energy while letting her do what she wanted. Today, back to school, but half-day again, due to school scheduling. Tomorrow first full day. She's a real trooper.
It was a tough weekend, family wise. First, there was D's problems. Then, Sunday morning, as I was getting ready to go pick her up from the hospital, I found D's cat (he was a birthday present when she was one year old) had died in his sleep. That was my "good morning".... to find an "old friend" gone, and then to have to tell D. It all worked out, and all is as well as can be expected. Another family bbonding event, the burial of an old trusted friend.
Then, Monday, (did I mention W's father with Alzheimer's is moving in soon?), in the midst of renovations, I sliced off the tip of my right-hand ring finger (thank God I'm left handed!!!). Lots of blood and minor panic, but no major problems. Everything is still working fine, but W and I are wondering when we will catch a break!
Anyway, I've not had much time lately to worry about my marriage, or anyone else's. So sorry I've not been around much, but all in all, I'm having the most fun I've had in a long time being this distracted from my "problems". Now, I don't recommend having your children appendectomized, or slicing off extranious limbs, or having demented parents come live with you, but I'm seeing the value of distraction to one's plight. W is even actually taking an interest in me, and she's coming home at predictable hours. Problem is, she actually want to talk and do stuff together when she does.
glad dd is doing well what a trooper!! my goodness you've had a busy time!!hope your finger doesn't hurt too much, isn't it odd how sometimes a crisis is an opportunity. glad things are going well for you! LL
Quote: Anyway, I've not had much time lately to worry about my marriage, or anyone else's. So sorry I've not been around much
I think we all understand that living it is much more important than coming here and talking about it. Nothing to apoligize for.
I picture your family greeting your FIL as he moves in with the fanfare of the wounded "Spirit of '76 " trio (with fife & drum playing) ... I hope it doesn't come to that.
Z, happy to hear d is doing great, sorry about your finger tip...ouch. also that your w is taking more interest in you. Maybe there are small miracles in the middle of crisis's. Enjoy what you have. Sue
I'm soo happy to hear your little angel is doing well. I cringed when I read that you cut the tip of your finger off, OUCH!! Sorry to hear about it. Well, I guess its better than losing the whole finger. Good luck with the renovation and moving your FIL in. Isn't it great to just live. I now look back on "living" before the bomb was dropped and how much I took it for granted and even complained about it sometimes. What I would do to go back to living; I now have a much greater appreciation for it and a whole different perspective on it. I guess that's what DBing teaches us.
It's time for me to leave this board for a while. I've done it in the past, but mostly for a "mental health" day, or week or so. Now, it's time to leave. In the past few weeks, I've been living a life I stopped living when the "bomb" dropped, and I've been living well. I need to do more of that, and less of hiding on this board. I will lurk, but I won't post much. Lately, this board has become more of an obsession for me than it has in a long, long time. I feel I post to help, but I'm still in pain, where I first posted to ease my pain. Now, the way my sitch is going, I need to "stay with the pain" so I can better understand how to ease it within my R, since W has given me permission to do so, and she has been helping ease my pain, allowing me to help her ease hers. I need to experience my pain within my R, and share my pain with my W, and make it safer and safer for her to share hers with me. I need to re-establish emotional exchange within my marriage. Cuz, it seems, my W is willing to have me do so!
There are other things going on, things that will distract me from my self-absorbtion... We are about to invite my father-in-law to live with us, he moves in tomorrow... This I see as good from the R POV, but a hard road... He has Alzheimers, and we (the family) all know he will end up in a home, but we are all not ready for that yet. Our C even says this might be a blessing in disguise, because it will give W and I a common cause. Already, in the preparation for his coming, we have re-connected, re-bonded in ways we haven't in many, many months -- or years. But at the same time, we are all aware the this is the kind of thing that splits marriages. The interesting thing here is that our marriage is already split, and needs a "common cause", and this may be the trick! C agrees...
So, I'm leaving here for a while. Recently, I feel I've been helpful to some as a kind of "senior spokesman" on this board, but mostly, I've been trying to help you all through painful stuff I've already seen. I'm not so smart, not so wise. I need to try some of the things I've learned and see how well they really work. I guess it's all worked somewhat, because I'm still married, and the OM has receeded to a point of insignificance. I must have done something right!
Please if you wish, feel free to contact me. I will check in, and I will look at the board, but I've found it hurts my PMA to do so too much. But I will read.
Thank you everyone, thank you Michele. I don't even want to consider where I would be today if I had not found this board. I think it has saved my life!
I guess the next time I post will be to start a new thread, since I'm well past the 100 "limit" now. See you then...
...Did it work? 