Z - It sounds like things are definitely on the upswing!
When my W and I bought our house nearly 10 years ago, we insisted on a first floor master with the intent that her mother was eventually going to move in with us once she could no longer manage her house down in Florida. Unfortunately, a heart attack + major stroke + likely brain damage from overmedicating doctors forced us to place MIL into a nursing home close to us. It's a very wonderful thing that you and your W are doing for your FIL. I hope that it works out well for all of you. It seems that the good will, cooperation and mutual support that you're building with the house renovations may be the cornerstone for successfully negotiating the challenges ahead.
Also, it's great that you and W can "cuddle" again and that she is very receptive to it. That's something that I long for in my sitch again - don't know when or if it will happen. But we have to keep being optimistic. Check in when you can and build on the good times...
I just caught up reading your thread. Stepping back and reading through the last 2-3 weeks worth of posts, the 1st thing I notice is progress. I mean real progress. In one of your earlier posts, you compared the progress moving at glacial pace. Well, whether you know it or not, your progress over the last 2-3 weeks has been astronomical in comparison. You have taken BIG baby steps. I know things are not where you want them right now, but I definitely see it headed that way for you. Like you, my biggest stumbling block is the emotional intimacy and connection which I believe will be followed by the physical intimacy. I have been trying to give more of myself and express my feelings about things that do not involve an obligation by W. I told her how I felt like a failure and coward by declining a request to give a eulogy at one of my good friend's funeral a few years ago. She listened to what I was saying. Slowlee I want to evolve into us once I feel its "safe". I am going to see a C next week to start working on expressing my thoughts and feelings more openly. Sounds like you are on the verge of breaking the "ice" into emotional intimacy and soul connection. Keep up the good work and keep us posted on our progress. It gives us all here encouragement, hope and inspiration.
Z, I'm impressed with the progress you've made! I think your patience, perseverance, acceptance, and forgiveness has paid off. Keep it up, I think it's only going to get better.
It's so great that the two of you are sharing in a project like that, especially considering the purpose of it. I bet it made her feel really great about you, when you suggested that FIL live in your home. I think that's the stuff that fosters love. I know that whenever my H shows care and concern for my Mom or Brother, it makes my heart sing. I think that kind of thing really means a lot.
I'm so glad to hear your getting cuddles and affection. Sometimes that means even more than sex. Especially bedtime snuggles, and the fact that she initiates them? WOW! She's getting closer to you Z! It's unbelievable the emotions a cuddle can bring on. The human touch is amazing! Before you know it, she won't be able to resist you!
Today was a hard day, in life. It was an awesome day in marriage.
Our sweet little light-of-my-life angel little girl woke up with a tummy ache. By 6pm, she was lying in recovery after an emergency appendectomy. W and I spent a long, boring, anxious day in doctors' offices, emergency rooms, and various other hospital places.
W is staying overnight in the PEDS ward, I'm home. Back tomorrow morning.
Zebra, so glad you d is recovering fine, that is a scary time in a parents life, and the child, what a great way to bond further. If we look close enough and can get past alot of junk, we can see the good even in bad times. Take care, I'll say a prayer for your d. Sue
z, sorry to hear of dd's troubles. glad she is doing well now and that it brought you and w a bit closer together. keep up the good work and remember it all takes time, you will get there, you're already on your way!! LL
