"I see the problem is that I first must overcome my fear of creating this dynamic, while remembering that I still have a right to express my needs and desires. I must keep in perspective that just because I have needs and desires and preferenced, W has no obligation to fulfill them."

So, Z, let me ask you this!

What about starting with expressing your needs and desires revolving around things outside of your R? Things having to do with work, other family members, future goals for yourself, etc. Things that would be relatively safe. Things that your W not only has no obligation to fulfill, but has no POWER to fulfill.

This might be good practice for you on talking about these kinds of things, and good practice for her on feeling safe about listening. It could be a way to get the ball rolling a bit.

Just a thought.

JJ

Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!