jorge...

It's going slowly, but positively. I have realized I have a really big problem here. I explained it in our last C session as a reluctance to apply any pressure to W so to avoid creating a pursuit/distance dynamic. I told the C that I had probably read too much, and that I understood that very well. C nodded and said that it is possible I could but handled correctly it was essential. She offered me an individual session to work on it. I'm trying it my own way first, but I might take her up on it.

I see the problem is that I first must overcome my fear of creating this dynamic, while remembering that I still have a right to express my needs and desires. I must keep in perspective that just because I have needs and desires and preferenced, W has no obligation to fulfill them. That's her choice and cannot be forced. So, I must remember to not attach any expectations of outcome to my expressions, but instead offer my expressions in the interest of open communication and letting go of things that could turn to resentments of I keep storing them up. This is a very fine line. I have to release the expressions of desire and need, but not expect them to be met, and do so so it's clear to W what I need, but accept that it's her choice to respond.

This is where I say it's still a work in progress... HELP!!! I'm doing fine with it so far...

z