I am posted in the WAW section and haven't posted for a while, probably won't anymore. I have accepted her decision to divorce and now know that it is necessary. Eight years ago my wife had an EA with another woman and I found out about it. We went to counseling for a while and she said the homosexual desires were gone. I had a very difficult time with this especially since I was never given an apology and was expected to sweep it under the rug. We survived eight more years together and periodically I would question her if the desires were still there. I was always told that they were gone and she didn't want to talk about it. There was no intimacy in our marriage and it turned me into a jealous, questioning husband. I was never told anything so I would constantly have to dig for answers. This was no way for either of us to live our lives but I couldn't figure out why she wouldn't talk to her best friend and partner. The sex was great so I didn't think there were homosexual desires still. Our marriage was not good, we were both drinking way too much ( hinesight shows we were both depressed, a viscous cycle with depression and alcohol )and ended up arguing constantly. She finally left in Sept, 06 and shortly after I discovered she had been engaged in a lesbian affair. She denied it saying this person was persuing her and didn't talk to me for two months about our marriage. I was devistated. In the last month we have talked a little and I have found out that she has had these desires for the last eight years and battleing them on her own. This explains alot. I have excepted the fact that we have to get divorced and she is in counseling trying to figure out her sexual orientation. We have actually had more intimate conversation in the last month than we had in the last twelve years. It's a shame we couldn't have talked years ago. She said hinesight is 20/20 and agrees things could have been different had we talked, but it's completely out of my hands. I don't believe in homosexuality, I know she can't help her desires ( I believe some of the things that took place in her childhood, which I didn't know about until a month ago, has caused these desires ) but acting on them is a choice. I will have the difficulty of my son possibly being raised for half of his life by lesbians, I know she will be a good mother but it goes against my beliefs and the way I want my son to be raised. God will direct me on my decisions. Niether one of us have hate toward the other and we're both empathetic toward each other and I'm sure we'll remain friends. We both still cry when we discuss the good times we had together but know we must move on. I now feel like i'm in the closet that my wife has partially stepped out of. I know we will both be much happier in the future and I continue to pray that she returns to her heavenly family. So much for my story. I will now pay close attention to the divorce section of this site because even though I know my situation is completely out of my hands, I still have to deal with the loss of the woman I love. Please pray for my family as I will for yours.
