The fat lady is warming up....

[alamogirl]

Hey OldFool,

Thanks for your input/insight. I know you are going through your own situation, but you always provide good feedback, so 'thanks!"

I thought I had been doing everything right. Of course, when we initially broke up, I tried to reason with him. Fortunately, I found this site a few days later. Actually, I found the site through one of my subscription magazines, "Redbook." There was a blurp about making changes within yourself before trying to change everything else. It was by Michele W. Davis. That's when I looked her up, and voila...I found the website.

I have lots of regrets, like not doing anything about our problems when I started seeing signs at 10 years of marriage. I guess our problems were masked by our good friendship. I figured that since we got along so well, we would be able to get through this lull.

Even after we separated, we were still communicating almost daily, visiting, going out, e-mailing, etc. I know my letter probably freaked him out because I've never written anything like that before . Maybe it was too soon to tell him all those things, but I wanted to give him something to think about...after all, it was he who said he would give our conversation some thought.

I look forward to this "dark" place you mentioned. I know that I'm not there yet. If my H called today, I would be back with him in a heartbeat. Of course, there would have to be stipulations...marriage counseling, maybe some psychiatric treatment for H for his personal demons. I know I'm asking a lot. I just feel so betrayed. This man who I loved and trusted is turning my life upside down.

Have you read the book, "Stop your Divorce" by [censored]? He talks about emotional divorce vs legal divorce. The reason I ask is because you said to give my H what he wants and let the divorce happen. That's what Homer says in his book. Homer says that too often, people think that just because the legal divorce happened, that they can't reunite later on. I've thought about that myself. What if a year or so down the line, my WAH wants to reunite?

I'm sorry to be rambling on and on. Well, OldFool, my friend, I wish you a very warm and safe holiday. And to the others who have responded to me on this thread, thank you and have a safe and warm holiday.

All my best,
alamogirl