The fat lady is warming up....

[alamogirl]

Hi oldfool,

Well, this morning at our joint couneling session, my WAH told me that he was ready to file D papers. All this week, I've been having the same pit in my stomach...you know, the one I had the same week H left. It's so weird that you can sense stuff like that.

Anyway, he told me in front of our counselor that he just wanted to concentrate on school and move on. My counselor asked him, "And what will that be like?" My H said that he didn't know but that he was prepared to accept what life had to offer.

Of course, I felt horrible. We've been separated for 5 months. He dropped the bomb on 3 Jun 06. I told my counselor if that's what he wanted, than so be it. I wasn't going to beg or hang on to him. My counselor said to my H, "Well, it still seems that you're a little indecisive." Then he said, "I don't hear the fat lady singing." That made us both laugh, but the fat lady is definitely warming up for me too.

When my H first left, he said that he couldn't stand that our sex life went down the tubes. He mainly used that as a reason, but now, I know that it was just an excuse. I know that a marriage cannot survive without sex, but if no sex was the only reason, don't you think H would be more than willing to give us another try? I do.

I just think H snapped. He's the type that cracks under pressure. I realized this after we were married, but I never thought in a million years that he would walk away from the marriage. Even though we had been having problems for about 2 years prior, I just thought things would work themselves out.

Lots of married people go through droughts. Just the other day, I was talking to one of my good friends, and she was telling me that she's been happily married for 24 years, and the last 5 years, have been sexless. She said the passion was gone but that they still loved each other and couldn't picture themselves with other people. I think a lot of people are in that situation. I guess people like your WAW and my WAH don't want to settle for those types of relationships.

My H and I were also great friends. I thought friendship would sustain us through the drought. He said he wasn't seeing anyone, and that's not the reason why he left. He still wants to be part of my life after the divorce as a friend. He told me that he knows that I'm going to need a lot of help with the house. We bought my old childhood home together, and we made lots of renovations. That was the start of our problems. We dug ourselves into a hole, and eventually, we ended up filing for bankruptcy. I didn't know this, but my counselor said that the majority of couples who file for bankruptcy get divorced.

I'm sorry about your pain. It does help to talk about it with others going through the same thing.

Take care.
alamogirl