Just a general update on the progress/status of my latest longwinded post about OM contact being "none of my business".
W continues to protest this concept whenever I express it. It's fascinating really. She is showing signs of guilt if she's "caught" in contact (that means that I find out before she tells me, or she had minor contact, and would not have told be). Last time, I got a bit moody and she read it on my face. When she realized, she APOLOGIZED!!!! First apology I've gotten regarding the OM in 22 months!! Last time was when I discovered the affair. Two days after that, she said she wanted a divorce. I said I was being silly, that I shouldn't allow that to get to me. She said "I don't understand how you can say that, I'm such an ass for doing this." And we both let it go. I asked her to hug me, and she did, a very long, warm hug. Later, at dinner, W, D and I played the "best thing, worst thing" game where you tell the best and worst things of your day. W's was "having a really nice hug with Daddy".
What's most remarkable to me is as a result of my backing off the issue, I can almost see her beginning to pursue me. I have retreated from the issue. I have accepted that it's really out of my hands. I express that, and I express that I'm not comfortable with it, but I accept that it's her right to do what she wants, that it's none of my business. An she pursues me in the sense that she insists that it IS my business, that she doesn't understand how I can just let it go, and if she's "caught" in contact, she expresses remorse, and strives to rebuild the trust and respect she feels she's damaged. It's truly amazing.
I guess I'm just trying to share some of the litte pluses... Gotta notice those baby steps.
