It seems to be an epidemic-these EA with OW/OM. I don't have any proof that my H is still talking with the OW but his actions have been very different lately, and its true when they are in an EA with someone it can' help but take thier focus off really working on the M. Something is taken away. They are torn. They feel as though they love two people and don't want to give up either one. In my case my H had a PA for over 2 yrs with her and then broke it off after I found out. TO my knowledge he has fessed up to only one conversation with her since. He has said he will tell her he cannot talk to her anymore if she calls. DO they have the strength to do that? I believe ONLY if they are REALLY are commited to the M. My H is not acting like he is commited to me. He is not being loving, says he feels trapped, and is distant. WIthout calling him an outright liar and me continually asking him if he is talking to her and him denying it, there is nothing I can do except end it if I can't take it anymore. I'm not ready to do that yet.I still feel he loves me even though he is not really acting like it right now. You just know these things, but the pull of the OP takes so much away from our R. We have two choices. Ride it out and see what happens or move on. Most of us here are choosing to ride it out in part because we have heard so many times these things burn themselves out eventually. In my case it was such a long A. He says now he only thinks of her as a friend-it screams of EA if he is having contact with her. Especially all of his actions. He's trying to fight it I can tell, so I have to be on guard, but DBing to be more attractive to him than her. He does not want to marry her, so I know I have that as an anvantage-he can just TALK to her and she listens. Brother, I could find someone to go out and talk to and they would listen too.
ITs alot of BS if you ask me and I don't like having to play this game but I am still waiting for him to come back to me-the way he used to be. Then it will all be worth it. I'm banking on that rigth now-its what keeps me going. Racahel
