Need advice

[want2believe]

WAH came over Monday to watch the boys while I went to volleyball. H left though about 5 minutes after I got home. I know H has things to do, but if he truely wants to move back in in 2 months, then I would think, he'd want to spend more time here with us rather than run off to his own little world by himself. But that's me. H definitely thinks differently.

I won't go into details, but I did let my H know on Tuesday that I do have a hard time with H leaving all the time after 2-3 hours of being with me and the boys. I told him I knew he had things to do, but I had to express my feelings. He said we'd talk that night. We didn't really though. We did end up getting intimate, he told me he loved me. Afterwards I said if he really was seriously thinking about moving back in at the end of March, than we needed to talk about both of our expectations in our R. H said we could think about it and talk in a couple of weeks. I said I'd already been thinking about it, and he said he hadn't. We'd talk about it next month. I didn't push it. H obviously isn't ready to discuss our R, and although I think part of him wants to move back, I don't think H is totally ready to move back. I expect changes from him also and I want him to know that before he moves back. On the good side, when H got ready to leave, I noticed him stop and look at me with happiness, something he hasn't done in a long time. I came over and gave him another good-bye kiss.
H was over tonight as I had volleyball again. H worked on the truck with older S, but left shortly after they finished. He seemed tired and somewhat remote again.

Sometimes I wonder if we aren't just better off living apart, but then again I know it's not what I really want, but I also want things to change between us from what they were, and I can't do that myself. My H needs to realize that it takes both of us to make our R work, and it's not just me that has to change.

On the good side, even though I know H hasn't agreed with me on the topic of ordering trim for the house, he obviously has been thinking about what I said about it, based on some things he said Tuesday.

I'm not sure if H will stop by tomorrow or not. I suspect not given he was saying that he hadn't been home (his place) enough lately to do some things. I also think H needs time to think. I'll just wait for H to contact me again.