W2B, count this as one vote towards going to your B and SIL's for Christmas.

I think your husband needs to know that life goes on for you and your children. I also think he needs to know that you are not sitting around waiting for word from him before you make plans.

This doesn't mean that there cannot be time for your husband to spend time with all of you at some point. Personally, I would simply tell him that you received the offer to go there and having no other plans you committed to doing that. If you want to extend the offer of time together after your trip, I think that would be ok.

The common theme that I see in these WAS/MLC spouses is that they seem to think our lives stop while they are not around. I notice that my wife, even as much as she tells me she wants me to move on and be happy, still seems to act as though nothing goes on in our lives when she is not in our presence. It's important to me to let her know that if she plans to wait till the last minute to make plans with us, we may already have plans.

Everyone's situation is different, but this is my take.

"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."