Need advice

[want2believe]

Well I cashed out with H last night. We talked about the business, but basically avoided touching each other. I tried to be around him as little as possible. I can't say I was in a happy mood, as he kept bringing up things needed for the business, and finances for it are tight right now. I just don't want to have to invest more of our (his/my) money in it if I can help it.

I sometimes wonder how H can act so normal after being with OW. I'd feel guiltier than hell, and I know it would show. I sometimes feel like he expects me to ask him about it, so he's can start an arguement and tell me I'm making things up again.

He left shortly after my sister called. I didn't even look at him as he went to leave. This morning he stopped by, said he forgot the deposit book. I was suprized to see him, but I found a way to dis-appear quickly.

I know detachment can work. I've seen it to some degree already with H. I just not sure I'm doing it right, as I feel like I have to believe I'm totally on my own now, as if we were divorced, and I don't want to be with him anymore. It seems so counter productive to where I want things to be. I need to read up more on this I guess.

H comes over to watch boys tonight while I go to volleyball. I wonder if he come/leave while I'm there, or not. I plan on doing some shopping tonight afterwards, to minimize the time I see him. He'll probably leave before I get home, since he always has stuff to get done. He always makes it sound like he has so much to do, and the only thing he has to worry about his his-self. Given what he said this weekend, he can't relax at the house or his place (relax - like do nothing, watch TV, etc... per his words). He appears to only be able to relax with the OW, in other words given I know where he went to relax!! Pisses me off thinking about it, but I needed to vent it here so I don't bring it up to him.