Need advice

[want2believe]

RCR,

Thanks for your words. I've thought about getting the Conway books, but haven't yet. I'll order them later tonight. I go see H in about an hour for the business.

I hate the lying and I am somewhat emotional right now. I'll get my act together though before I see him. He called once more today, a business issue, and know he stalled for a little bit to keep me on the phone, but I got off as soon as I could.

The hard part will be to act normal, as he doesn't know that I know that he went up to WI to see OW. I know he stated overnight. What he didn't I can't say, only speculate. Although I knew he was still talking to the OW, I had hoped he won't see her again. It's been a month since he was last with her. I guess you're right. I think they feed off each other. OW only been divorced for like a year maybe, and she lives with her daughter and son-in-law. For my H, she's the only person he has to talk about our relationship with. He refuses to see a counselor, and he's not talking to his sister, brother or friends. The all think (and have told me basically) that he's an idiot.

As for sex, I don't want to share him with anyone, like you. I'm torn though because that was one of his complaints about me, and someone told me their counselor had recommended they have sex still because of this. I am seeing my own counselor, and he recommends I do what I feel like doing.

X-mas will be hard. I know I have to stay away from him as much as possible. I am wondering though, do I get him a gift for X-mas or not. Or do I just have something on hand in case he gets me something (long shot since I didn't get anything from him for our 20 year anniversary or my birthday) except flowers maybe. Something I read mentioned we shouldn't give them gifts, but it's hard not to.

I guess I'm hanging in there. I just need to learn to control my feelings more when I'm around him. I try to detach, but when he acts like he wants to be with me its hard. When I get pissed off, I try to watch what I say, but sometimes I just can't help myself. I want to make him hurt like he's hurting me, but I can tell it doesn't seem to work. Maybe it does, as some things I've read indicate it does, but he doesn't act like it. I guess I still have some anger with him I need to deal with from even prior to his MLC here. Who knows, it might have been the pre-lim to his MLC.

I feel sorry for my son, since he blew him off this afternoon. He hasn't said anything, but I know it has to bother him, as he's spent some time on his own on the truck.

Thanks for the advice and support. I like tiggers also! Good luck in your situations.