I guess I was trying to insert myself in to the emotional dynamics of the office. That way I was not just a name I was a living breathing person and he and others in the office could get to know me and perhaps see the good parts of me that my wife may not have shared.
Eric.....
This has been my thought exactly since the very beginning. I know W had made me out to be a very bad character to many people at her club. I know many had just agreed that if I was that bad, she was justified in everything. After I started actively participating in club events, and got to know many of her new friends, I know she was then councelled to be very careful how she proceeded down the divorce road. They pointed out that I wasn't that bad, how hard I was trying to change, and how much she would regret her actions if she didn't make every effort to work this out. Your experience here is the only other I've read about that was similar in this regard. Where it seems everyone wants to jump on the "cut all contact" bandwagon, in some cases, it is just not practical at best, and at most just demanding and controlling at worst. I learned long ago that demanding just doesn't work, that it only drives her from me. I've learned that the only choice I have is to accept that there will be social contact, or to call this unacceptable and leave the marriage. That is all I can do.
Thanks for the support. Reinforcement is a wonderful thing, that's what makes this board so terrific. It helps us all feel that much less alone.
