Detaching is to be happy, truely happy (Although we all experience ups and downs) even during the periods of crisis. It took me a long time to get it, to achieve it. It means not panicking when things go south a tad! It means being well with yourself and finally not needing (or not having the perception of needing) your spouse to make you happy! This, in my experience, is very attractive to the WA's. They do not want US to need THEM. And they dont want to need us. So when they truely feel that you are being yourself...in a good way, the best "you" possible, the person they fell in love with, they start to relax and get comfy again and they start enjoying your company because you are being that person you were all those years ago!
Danger: it is not a constant thing...there are lapses and pit falls both for us AND our spouses.
But once my wife saw me carrying about like I did all those years ago, and that she could tell it wasn't an act...it was real...she started thinking about what was going on. She remains suspicious. Very normal. But all of a sudden, she is open, to me, to spending time with me, to even accepting that she has NO clue if it is really over or not. A huge difference from when it WAS OVER and she had no doubts...once those seeds of doubts have been plnated and our spouses watch us being good, loving, caring but without the dependence or attachement (therefor detachement ), their perception changes and perception is everything!
