Physical touch has been a slow thing returning to us. C has had us "asking permission" to touch, hug, whatever. I've just completely backed off any touch that might be construed as sexual advance. Actually, it's easier that way, because I don't have to wonder if I should, and she doesn't feel uncomfortable if I'm too fast. Since this has started, W has been touching in general more than in a long time. Things like coming over and sitting next to me on the couch while watching TV, and resting her legs in my lap. Leaning on my shoulders. Just casual contact when lying in bed. Before, she was reluctant to do ANY touch, I suppose because she was worried I might mistake it as an "advance". Actually, this is all part of W's inability/unwillingness to speak up for what she wants/needs. She needs to be not touched, not advanced upon sexually for now, but it comes across a distant and cold, because she won't state her feelings. Once it's out in C, I get it, I know the boundaries. I stay within, and we are both happier knowing the rules. I actually said that in C yesterday, in context of answering how this "homework" assignment regarding touching was going...
So, to C yesterday, I mentioned that yesterday morning, W and I were carrying on in playful banter, taking little fun verbal jabs at each other, and she says "I'm going to hit you now. I'm not asking, I'm just going to do it." I said "Beat me, please" and we cracked up. I told this to C and she rolled her eyes. Later in C, as I mentioned, W came over to me and hugged me, saying "I have to hug you now". She did, and I said "But you didn't ask first", and the C was almost on the floor laughing.
We are beginning to have more fun. We are still dating. It's really kind of nice.
