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Just a bit of humor for today folks!

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY A CCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY
SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY
HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of “RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REARCLEAVAGE”


Well behaved women rarely ever make history!
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Hahahaha

Now I need a list for the teen yrs!

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Ok, for teens:

She's not self-centered, she is externally myopic.

She's not b!tchy, she suffers from hormonal rage syndrome.


Gone the carvings and those who left their mark.
Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
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Balto,

How about...

She's not B1tchy, she's attitudinally challenged
She's not a know-it-all, she's merely potentially omnipotent.
It's not Her time of the month, it's your opportunity for improvement.

GEL


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hahahahah Those were good.

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Best Giggles Going...

Thanks....I needed that!


Pity me that the heart is slow to learn What the swift mind beholds at every turn. Edna St. Vincent Millay
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Actually GEL, I hear this one in real life from time to time about teens:

She's not a bad kid, she's "challenging".

My W teaches at a title one school and I post here so I have a different interpretation when she says one of her first graders has been diagnosed with ED (emotionally disturbed). Poor kid can't get it up at 6. I imagine 46 it will be out of the question.


Gone the carvings and those who left their mark.
Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
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Balto,

I can certainly see the "challenging" comment...and the ED cracked me up LOL


Well behaved women rarely ever make history!

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