Hi Oldtimer, I can't begin to tell you how much your post really hit home. At the time of my H saying he 'couldn't miss work', I was torn between knowing full well that he was right (we only have his income and things are tight right now.. also why I didnt' want to call a tow truck) and wanting him to come to my aid, and not sure where to turn if he didn't.
Quote: Hey, on the bright side, it is pretty darn easy to make me pretty blissful, lol, with a bit of tender care and attention.
Oh my goodness.. this is me to a T. Any little bit of attention and I am in heaven. Problem for me is, this is just not something my H does with any type of regularity, very, very sparse.
I will definitely do what you suggested, as soon as I get the nerve. :P I promise. I know over the years, I have just had try to get over the things my father has done or said, or didn't do. And there have been so many, I couldn't possibly begin to count. I think the worst is now when he makes a derrogatory comment about his own grandsons (and they are good, loving boys). Another short example is when I was dev. diabetes, he stated that why couldn't I just 'change what I ate' (which of course I had to right off the bat) or if you can believe this one... 'maybe you just need to get outside and get some fresh air sometimes'. Downright caveman mentality, and he does not want to hear, or learn any type of education about it. He doesn't want to hear, that if left to diet and 'fresh air', I would already be dead. And this is all after everything that has already happened. I have resorted to basically not telling him anything about my health. Just a couple examples I do love him, but I have to distance myself from him emotionally and never have an expectations, be thankful for the little crumbs he may throw.
I have never really thought about how this might affect things with H. He grew in a household, where rules were very lax, but he had much loving.
How could I possibly go about healing lack of emotions from my father?
Quote: "The problem is that you want to control the finances by controlling whether H succeeds in his job or not. You were frustrated because H wouldn't let you dictate whether or not he would be to work on time."
Well? Does that hurt? I expect not, lol.
You are so right, this does not bother me at all! Not in the least. Besides of course, of wanting my bills paid and food for my children to eat, that sort of thing means nothing to me.
I will surely take your words to heart and think about it. I was even thinking about your post lying in bed last night LOL So it sure must of had me thinking :P
