One thing I might disagree with: "Again - the big subtext here is that you want him to PROVE HIS LOVE for you by rushing to your rescue, to help heal the wounds of having felt abandoned by him before. "
Sure, I buy that some part of this has to do with his A. But, this sounds much deeper and older to me. To me, that sounds as if that needy part of you is a child who doesn't feel cared for or protected. Your husband is never going to be the parent that part of you wants. Instead, you need to heal that part of yourself.
Why do I think this? The "temper tantrum" when H didn't rescue you and protect you from the big scary city. Also, the appeal to us to believe that he really should have taken care of you because you are diabetic. Certainly insulin-dependent diabetes is a significant health concern. But, it is also one that competent adults are able to manage independently. There is always sugar on the counter of a fast food restaurant and people in general will help you out. Moreover, you had a phone that would be much more useful in case of emergency than a husband in a car miles away. The appeal to the diabetes sounds like a "mommy, I have a tummyache" cry for attention to me. This isn't a grown-up wife part of you that is crying out for care and protection. This isn't a hurt adult wife. The behavior is very childlike.
Why do you think you have what seems to me to be a rather desperate unmet need to be nurtured?
fyi, I've used insulin and have a high need for nurturing myself, lol, so don't feel slammed or alone here... I have recognized this need, though, and learned to express it and ask for it to be addressed.
