HDW, here, wondering what the options are for dealing with LDH.
Married for 5 years, together for 8 – and only ML on average less than once a month. Both of us committed to our marriage, and each other, things between us are great except for the lack of sex. H feels bad about it, we don’t know what we can do together. ED not an issue, kids not an issue (none), emotional withholding/nonsexual touching not an issue (lots of smooching, handholding, words of love at all times from both of us, just not anything further). Still fairly young (36), absolutely committed to DH but don’t want to live the rest of my life like this, can only see it growing worse as we age together. Afraid that I may one day cheat (have history of infidelity in previous relationships). Both have history of depression (neither of us on antidepressants, though) – tend to deal with mine by wanting to connect, to reassure self-worth through proving desirability, he deals with his by withdrawing into himself and sleeping as much as possible. Have taken online lovers (online only, never physical, sometimes with an emotional component and sometimes cybersex only), with DH’s tacit approval (don’t ask don’t tell), but that’s still unsatisfying. Don’t want anyone else, I want DH. Had a big talk with him about it last night, he is going to see a dr., but we don’t know what can be done. Options as I see them: 1) Live with it, make friends with my Hitachi, accept that it’s not going to get any better, kill the part of myself that wants/needs/expects lovemaking 2) Cheat, get physical needs fulfilled and hate myself 3) Leave. #3 not an option, #2 a horrible option, #1 also a horrible option. What else is there? Help!
