[MJontheMend]

Not having remorse/guilt/culpability for your caustic emotional reactions is ...I hate to say it... a Narcisstic trait though. You dont have to feel shamed(pride) of them, you can say yep I did that, it was an error, and I need to work on it, but going beyond and not caring is very damaging to both you and her.

Good point. I think you can see this is true Cobra if you equate your anger to my tears. We should both know that we've gone too far down a wrong-minded path when we have these reactions. The point isn't that you should learn to suppress or repress your anger. The point is that you should be smart enough to avoid it. Trace back your steps until you find the place where you lost your cool and then you'll find it. I'll betcha that you lost it when you stepped over your natural boundary and stepped into the area in which you were trying to control your wife and the situation. I also betcha that you were thinking along the lines of "I'm doing this for the good of the kids" or "Why should I have to.." or "I have the right to.." or "If she cared about my happiness, she would...." when you stepped over that line.