[MJontheMend]

I am fully aware that she thinks I am a horse in need of training. That is all she has focused on. But when I look at the complaints she had a few years ago, I have addressed all of them. Like I said, she just moves the goal posts. It is a deflection.

So what you are saying is that you are letting her train you rather than training yourself. If you simply respond to her demands she is training you. You need to look at yourself and set the bar higher for your own good. Pretend like you are training for the Good Husband and Sexy Man Olympics and you are your own coach. Your wife's demands might clue you in to areas you need to work on if you take them as constructive criticism but if you leave it up to her to set the standard for you, you are also in a sense letting her set the overall standard for your marriage. If you wait for her to tell you what to do to be a better husband you are like a child waiting for permission to take on responsibility and you are limiting your growth. It's okay to be better than that. It's okay to exceed your wife's expectations. It will be very uncomfortable because your marriage will be in such disequilibrium but things will be better for you even if your marriage crumbles under the strain.