[Burgbud]

I told her it was obvious nothing had changed and I would file on Monday. I told the kids my intention.
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She then called the kids together to “inform” them of what a selfish parent I was

Both of you are being incredibly selfish parents. You're dragging your kids into an adult situation where they don't belong. Of course they may end up at that point anyway but at least by then it should be *settled*. As it stands, you're ripping them back and forth emotionally.

Next time, don't tell them until after you file. If you think this is bad advice, talk to a therapist. They're not pawns and if you can't keep them out of this battle, even if you feel it's unfair to you, you need to evaluate whether or not you're a man/grown-up.