Blues - I think our sitch's are very different in that my hsband left me. Not due to any of my issues (he says it is because I tried to change him). I say it is because he met Traci...
Anywho -- this is not my turn... The kid thing with your wife... That is just wierd. She, you and I all know that a vasectomy can be reversed, so she wants kids - why not with you???
On the old self front : Absolutely - I am more like my old self than I ever was before, but now I am a mommy... I don't work, and my priorities have changed. But my depression kept me home, got me fat, and just kucky all around... After I had my daighter - it all changed back... I actually promised myself when i became pregnant - that i would never go back to the woman I was (depressed, fat, sloppy, indifferent). I am now sexy, slim, hot, and all around sensational - if I do say so myself - unfortunately - my husabnd does not agree...
Anyway - your wife is obviously going through something VERY major. Do things now, like you never did them before. If she felt you were never there for her, be there for her now. If she felt you never listened - listen now... Turn your sh*t around quick... and do things you have never done before - the things she would not expect from you ( but not only for her, do it for you and any future relationship you may have)...
I wish you all the best - and I will keep up with your sitch, I don't know how much info, insight I can provide, but I will try - based on the fact that I am a girl and a woman who has had some childhood issues...
My Lord - it sucks that we are all here, but thank goodness for this place cuz I think our friends may kill us if we talked this much to them...
