Any ideas on depression? My W is depressed and won't take drugs so she sees her T twice a week. Can't tell how much is due to the depression and how much is MLC. I read in DR that depressed people go way into there childhood but so do MLCs she is way into her past and childhood issues. I wish she would be into the present as much.
She will never get back what she has lost and if she spends too much time there she will lose what she has.
I think all MLC'ers suffer from depression, and no one can make them taking AD's or not.
My H decided he needed some Ad's so we went to the the Dr. and then a few weeks after taking them he said, see, I knew i was right to leave you , I am thinking clearly now that I am on the Ad's I was like GREAT!
so it is a double edged sword, sweets, this is a long road, i want you to read the info on the top of the forum, and get as much info on MLC as you can ok sweets.
“Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.”
Well I think I may have some good news though I won't get too excited I will keep a PMA. First thanks Lissett I have been going over the mlc basics. I called my wife's T to see if she had made plans for MC and she had. She had a rough T session on Wednesday so I was concerned and she had not mentioned anything about it. Then last night she came home from work early and said she had made plans for MC.
I know she is only going because her T told her she must but I am hoping for the best. We had a pleasant evening last night with pizza and about an hour of TV together before she went upstairs. She even did one of our little jokes we used to do... nice to see some of my old gal. This morning she was cold again but I guess thats how it goes... right? I am almost always upbeat and positive which if you are depressed I guess could get annoying so I tone it down. She had another session this morning so I will see how she is tonight.
HELP HELP HELP. We went to our first MC session together last night and it went awful. She wants a D and is only going to MC because her T said she must. It was very emotional on my part mostly she was pretty frickin' cold. 12 yrs together 10 married and she had this big epiphanny 6 months ago and now she wants children.... but not with me. I got a vasectomy 8 yrs ago at her behest so we could be more "spontanious" (I have some on ice still) She LMBNILWM this is gut wretching. She sounds so adamant about it and when she makes her mind up that is usually it. All her childhood issues are coming up and I think she must have someone in the wings. I don't really want to know though because if we get back toghether and I know I will never be able to get it out of my mind. I am so sad and lost. I have friends to go see tonight which will help. We are scheduled to go next week too. Its the only time we talk about anything of importance. Can't seem to do it on our own.
Any thoughts or ideas? Anyone. Should I buy an online session. Feeling very hopeless.
Blues - I am not quite sure why you asked me to look at your thread, but here is my input...
Your wife is going through something really heavy... I doubt that you will ever be able to understand that - at least that is how your W sees it... It seems to me she is quite depressed. I am not sure why her T hasn't given her a script for something... As for the childhood issues... I had those too, but mine were about self esteem (no sexual anything), alcoholic mom, abusive mom... Yada yada... Despite all the crap in my childhood - I adored my mom and held nothing against her, although - after I went to therapy I told her some stuff... Only after she dies did I find her poetry about my pain, her pain, mainly about how I made her feel about being a mom...
I think once a peron is made to divuldge into their childhood, they begin to realize some stuff - some painfull stuff that can affect their entire lives...
I think it was today that your W said she wanted a D..?? Did I read that correctly? Did anyone ask her why??
I guess, Blues - I want more info and may be able to provide you with any - novice insight that I have... Again - not sure why you asked me to look in on you but, I have, so please give me more, and I will give you all I've got...
I don't know why I asked you either, I guess I saw a recent post you did and you were on line and I needed to hear from someone so thank you. When asked why she says she wants kids which is a recent development in the last few months but doesn't want them with me.
I guess what I want to know is did you come out of it with any of your old self. Its like my W has become the complete opposite of the loving antidivorce woman she used to be.... she is depressed the MC went into that last night she won't take meds. So she sees her T twice a week now.
Thank you for taking the time I really appreciate it and what you have said about your own sitch sounds very similar to my W. I guess I want to know the unanswerable.... will she come back to me.
I did not sleep last night at all so I am sorry if this is not very clear.
Blues - I think our sitch's are very different in that my hsband left me. Not due to any of my issues (he says it is because I tried to change him). I say it is because he met Traci...
Anywho -- this is not my turn... The kid thing with your wife... That is just wierd. She, you and I all know that a vasectomy can be reversed, so she wants kids - why not with you???
On the old self front : Absolutely - I am more like my old self than I ever was before, but now I am a mommy... I don't work, and my priorities have changed. But my depression kept me home, got me fat, and just kucky all around... After I had my daighter - it all changed back... I actually promised myself when i became pregnant - that i would never go back to the woman I was (depressed, fat, sloppy, indifferent). I am now sexy, slim, hot, and all around sensational - if I do say so myself - unfortunately - my husabnd does not agree...
Anyway - your wife is obviously going through something VERY major. Do things now, like you never did them before. If she felt you were never there for her, be there for her now. If she felt you never listened - listen now... Turn your sh*t around quick... and do things you have never done before - the things she would not expect from you ( but not only for her, do it for you and any future relationship you may have)...
I wish you all the best - and I will keep up with your sitch, I don't know how much info, insight I can provide, but I will try - based on the fact that I am a girl and a woman who has had some childhood issues...
My Lord - it sucks that we are all here, but thank goodness for this place cuz I think our friends may kill us if we talked this much to them...
Thank you so so much. I can't stop crying it comes in waves. I am very glad she will be leaving tomorrow for 3 or 4 days. I did not have her car serviced like I normally had planned to. Thats pretty big for me. I know I will be able to not call her because I don't call or email her anymore I only respond to hers and not right away. I need to detach more. Thanks... should I put up the Christmas lights on Friday like normal or leave it dark... she won't notice anyway.
Thanks Lissett... I finished the book and should start again...
