My struggle is not so much with the separation as it is with the perpetuation of our unhealthy, dying relationship. My wife refuses to believe that she, in any way, has contributed to the demise of our relationship. In her world, it's all about me changing. She is the ultimate judge and has unilateral authority to assess my performance.
I have acknowledged to her, and others how I have neglected and mistreated her. I have apologized and asked for forgiveness. She has consistently treated me disrespectfully, yet she is blind to any change or apology that she needs to make. She is constantly criticizing me - now she is upset with me, because the separation she initiated has the consequences of leaving her with more housework and parenting responsibilities. I bought a new recumbent bike (about $900.00) as the "get a life" part of the last resort technique. She won't let that go - constantly complains that I am too self indulgent, etc.
I am tired of jumping though hoops for her. It as a moving target with a bar too high for human standards. But, I am going to give it time through the holidays, work on changing ME (there's always plenty to do) and see if anything changes.
