Suddenly, a small ray of hope

[built4speed]

No icicle bashing or anything. Thanks for thinking of me.

Things have calmed down after the "wild" weekend. The tone is definitely different, however. For the first time in the over two year nightmare, I finally drew a line in the sand that said, "You've crossed a boundary I can't ignore." That was when I got the police involved. My C has been after me for a while, because I have basically been letting her run wild and I wouldn't push back. So, finally, I pushed back and the result was, that NOW I'm not trustworthy, NOW we will not ever be friends, NOW there is no way she ever getting back with me, and NOW we aren't going to dinner together any more, etc.

It's funny in a sick kind of way. I'm accused of eye-for-an-eye behavior, and when I draw line that says violence is not tolerated, she, in the following two day period, said all of the above, plus indicated she will give me no extra time with the kids other than what is in the decree; told me I'm not allowed to sit with her at the table at the running banquet next month where my D14 is getting an award; and various other "threats". Some of these she did back down on after she calmed down, and I just kept my mouth shut and let her vent. But it's interesting to see who has the real backstabbing issue. But at least now I know what to expect when I do stand up for myself - I'm an a-hole!

I'm also being accused of playing games throughout this whole D, while she: gets a storage locker, PO Box, checking acct, credit card and squirrels away $10k without my knowledge; goes through my computer looking "for anything with a dollar sign on it", justifying her privacy violations because my computer is a "family" computer because I have the digital photos and iPod songs on it - meanwhile she keeps her laptop in her car; gives files to her atty without my consent - in a "collaborative D"; commits battery against me in front of the kids; treats herself to the entire balance of my checking account - and then pays all our bills with it (I'm not sure if that ever ends up in front of the judge he'll think she's malicious or just stupid); tells me she is limiting my interaction with the kids; etc.

So, bottom line, we are still proceding with the D, she is willing to work on a "parenting plan" with me, but is scared to death to negotiate the financials without her atty with her. I'm so "untrustworthy". I "always take my half out of the middle." Right, that's why she had complete control of the spending for the last 20 years; unlimited access to cars, large home, health club, vacations, clothes, my expertise, kids in private school; we're sending $1000s to her parents; I put 100s of hours on honey-do projects. But I'm just taking. When I asked to have my needs met, her response is she's not turned on by me, never should have married me and me wanting sex is a crime. And her agreeing to sex is no guarantee; it's rape if she decides it is later.

At this point, we're $12K in and have had one atty meeting. This week's was again cancelled due to atty conflicts. She does not like her atty, but doesn't want to reset to zero. But won't negotiate with me without him.

She's an idiot.