Suddenly, a small ray of hope

[built4speed]

I looked through the diagnosis for BPD and she shows a few of the symptoms but, then again, don't we all. So again, like with the paranoia, it's not enough to be a full blown case, but just some of the behaviors. Her C doesn't see any of this, at least from what I've been told. For sure on the cause side, she was neglected as a young child and subject to "to much, too soon" from her mother.

Last night when I got home she was very pleasant, made me dinner and we watched TV in bed together. Then when the show was over she trotted off to her room, as always. On my way home she had called and was telling me about her day just like normal. It's like chocolates, I never know what I'm going to get.

I agree with some of your points, rhoch. I do need to provide a safe haven for the kids. But I don't see W drifting away from the kids. Perhaps that will change as she gets into her full time job, but she has been a very devoted parent. Sure, she lets her anger drive too many interactions with them (and all of us) and if she cannot learn to control that it will drive them all out of the house to me over time, but for the most part she has been there for them. The teenage years will be hard for W (as she has always said) and I am willing and able to guide them through those years if W can't or won't. But I don't see her moving away from them due to any BPD-like issues.

An intesting sidenote: W is trying to talk me into moving in with a friend or my parents until I buy somewhere to live. She says it's to save money, but it's my money, why would she care? I suspect it is because she doesn't want it difficult for me to come back if she changes her mind. I have no proof, just a feeling. I think if she wants me back, I'm going to want to be gone for six months anyway, so I plan to lease something until spring. I don't see this working out, but I don't think the money is the issue here. Strange.