I'm a little late to chime in here but I agree as well that you did the right thing regarding OW talk. Every MLCer needs a little reality check now and then and I think none of us really needs to hear the details of the skank that stole Christmas...and H...and peace of mind (for a while, anyway). I'm always glad to hear you have had very little ill effects in the roller coaster department. You Go Girl!
Thank you for your validation! She is not worth my attention.. such an immoral and greedy ,selfish person.. It is a relief that I am not affected as before by the swings of mood!
I hope this keeps up and makes life a wee bit easier for me. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and New Year too!
I just had a super Christmas with my family and close friends and hope you all had a great time too in as much as your situation lets you. WAS missed out yet again on a fun, happy and loving day with our sons and their lovely girlfriends..
He used to be such a proud, happy, family man.. I do not know how he copes with so little contact with the boys..
Denial I think ,and by pretending he is getting on "Oh so well" with them. Well I get all the love and attention from them ,at this time ,and it is like warm balm to my soul. We have such fun times still.. It is sad the empty place.. but does not cramp our style! I just off phone to M in L who is 95yrs and amazing.. More and more she says to me how much she cares, loves me, and the boys and how sad she is ,and how she sympathises with my loss.. Like the death of her beloved husband. She was at times almost in tears ,till I cheered her up and let her know how well I am doing and coping while still missing H. I also had more cards this year from mutual friends saying how much they were thinking of me, sending best wishes. To me the message is clear.. H has taken the wrong road and all but he can see it.. Or if he can.. his pride will not let him admit it! So I go on refreshed and encouraged by family and friends and knowing I have hurt no-one.. betrayed no-one.. deceived no-one.. I can hold up my head on these counts.. Meanwhile I can live my life to make myself as happy and fulfiled as I can, within my ethical parameters. We all can and take courage from that!
Yoohoo Calder! I'm glad you had a lovely time at Christmas. There seems to be a trend lately with reports of "everyone" seeing the reality of the situations except the WAS. That's the nature of the beast, I suppose.
Do you have any wonderful plans for the New Years Holiday?
Good for you! I, too, had some great times celebrating with kids and grandkids. I actually felt sad for XH that he was not there, but I have to remember it is his choice.
Now, if I can just get me back to 100%. I've just exhausted myself. I took time off this week to work on my house but so far I have done very little of the planned work. I have mostly slept and feel like I could sleep some more. But my thoughts are more toward getting the self-care I need for my thyroid problems and finding a doc who will listen to me and how I feel.
Glad you are doing well. Like you, I wonder sometimes how the WAS deals with loss and I think denial is the correct guess.
Thank you for your post! I hope your holiday time is happy, and filled with love and good wishes! I have had a few touching cards/ letters/words etc.. making me feel good! H is still away orbitting planet OW, a cold desolate place!
Well I do have good plans. First I will bottle my sloe gin, with help of New Guy who helped me pick them months ago. Then we will go another walk ,if weather good Then off to Hogmanay (New Year's Eve) Party at house of another close friend from the walking group He is vegetarian, so I am making some carnivorous chilli to take along too! Then on New years Day.. We hope to go a hill walk.. maybe in the Pentland Hills.
How are you doing my friend! I am so pleased you had such a lovely family time ! You are right. It is their choice to put their own needs and feelings first.. So others quickly see and feel this ,and they make their own losses because of this! As ever I guess you are working sooo hard! Take care!
I hope you get that thyroid treated properly! And please get all the rest you need!
Hi Calder, The other day I was talking to the physical therapist of my gs who I have gotten to know a bit. I told her that my h and I are going to d, that I do not want this. She said, "Oh no! Mid-life crazies?" Then she said that in her experience with friends to whom this has happened, the WAS (men) always come out looking like 'jerks,' and their LBS end up doing great. She told me that now is the time to do things for myself. A nice unsolicited comment from someone who is not a part of this bb but confirms what we have been saying word for word!
I have tried to completely let go of feeling sad for my h missing out on the family events. I have my own feelings to deal with and decided to let go of taking on his possible feelings on this, as it was his choice to walk away from these events. I concentrate instead, like you do Calder, on how lucky I am to have my family around me, supporting, appreciating, loving and lifting me up.
Quote: I have tried to completely let go of feeling sad for my h missing out on the family events. I have my own feelings to deal with and decided to let go of taking on his possible feelings on this, as it was his choice to walk away from these events
I knew that light bulb was coming for you soon, Amy.
and I think none of us really needs to hear the details of the skank that stole Christmas...and H...and peace of mind (for a while, anyway). I'm always glad to hear you have had very little ill effects in the roller coaster department. You Go Girl! 
There seems to be a trend lately with reports of "everyone" seeing the reality of the situations except the WAS. That's the nature of the beast, I suppose.