Calder, I think that was a very good move - to halt all talk of ow. Perhaps someday, a long time down the road, it is possible to picture two re-married couples getting along and all that, but at this point it is just not realistic to think that you would want to hear all about her. It assumes truly that you approve and are just fine about his leaving you for her. And while your life has moved on, it is still not okay. In fact, I think by his reaction you can tell that your words had an effect. There ARE consequences. He is da*m lucky that you are still speaking to him, laughing, and cooking dinner for him in fact.
My therapist said that she has read that divorced partners tend to remain friends when BOTH are content with their lives - and that it does not usually happen right away.
This all concerns me b/c as i go further down this road, I am wondering where this part will lead. What will the post d relationship with my STBXH look like. Many of the posters here have virtually no relationship. That may be healthy, but maybe not. I am willing to let go of trying to 'decide' on it now, and will wait to see how I feel.
Meanwhile, I have one son (S22) who has been willing to get involved w/ his dad and ow, and the other (S28) who wants nothing to do with her. I need to support both of their decisions b/c I love them both unconditionally and see that they are making the best choices that they can for who they each are. This is not an easy journey. This month is not an easy part of this hard journey.
I am so glad you continue to post and update here - it is very helpful and most appreciated. Happy holidays to you, Calder, xxx Amy
