Thank you! I am still missing sleep, especialy after along walk in the Campsie Hills on Sunday.. but been a good weekend for me. Now back to reality of work and H coming on Thursday evening. Will see how it goes this time. However well it goes I will be getting the usual Roller Coaster reaction,for a week or so after. Horrible, I just feel so vulnerable, but I suppose that will fade in time.
Thank you, I feel so touched and at the time it seemed unreal..
I took the remains of the cake in to work, where it caused more hilarity by folk commenting on eating parts of me! My face was left to the end,but is now less then half,with just a wee bit cake left. No-one wanted to eat the whole face, and have it staring accusingly at them!
I am so glad R is staring to give Joe more time on your prompting. Sad that these guys are so far up the creek that they need this.
I will see how H is getting on, on Thursday. Meanwhile I am organising Birthday meal for S26 for next week.Same place as we went for mine, Chop Chop, I think, as he loved it. Hope you are well.. Take care,
Well,it seems so long I was down and scraping along.. I feel it is important just to say that it does get much better.. That it still comes and goes.. such is life, but it does get sooo much better fun, and peace of mind too. It is also the way you look at things. Like the half full or half empty analogy.
Just catching up a bit and saw that I'd missed your b-day, so I'm wishing you a happy belated one, tho it seems you did not need those wishes -- what a wonderful surprise party that was! Life beginning at 60, obviously!
I so appreciate how realistic and honest you are about your R w/ NG, it is so refreshing, I see some LBS latching onto things w/ rosy expectations only to be wrecked again later, I always have said it's not the love or caring that causes pain, it's our our own unrealistic expectations. People are only human after all and life is not a fairy tale, period. I do feel a bit like Adam and Eve post-apple having that kind of knowledge now but seems it's something one does eventually have to learn and accept at some point.
Loved the stories of your IL visiting and prezzies, how lovely. Also nice to have a casual not-so-upheaving contact from H, eh. And great to hear he's consented to a meeting w/ Ss w/o OW.
Looking forward to hearing more mad plans for the upcoming holidays . . . think I'll get my tree this weekend myself. Always interesting wrassling a six- or seven-foot balsam pine up a flight of stairs by myself, I really should get a video of it to keep for laughs.
Well I am still to see H again tomorrow night when he comes for his meal.He usually stays for about 2 hours or more and always seems to enjoy my company.
I have not yet raised the issue of S26 with him.I did with S28 who will help by joint meetings if possible. I will say to H tomorrow about S26 if subject comes up which it should.
I must say that NG and I are getting more like best pals now.. as happens I think. But that is fine by me as we do love walking and doing things together and the companionship is great.
I am not looking for another love of my life.. only ever had one and look what he did.
I am a bit nervous as not heard from H to confirm his visit. He has not been on line either. I just hope all is well and will just prepare. I did send an email this evening to him with photos of the boys and their girls and me on my birthday meal.I asked if still Ok for meet, but no word.
I will see.He will probably email or may just arrive.
Thank you for the affirming post on my thread. As I remember, you have also been very forthright with your h at times. And to good effect.
So I think you should raise the topic of your son's feelings about OW. I know you will be able to pull it off in a way which gets through to your h without making him defensive. I am your student here, and you do have the skills to do this successfully, that's clear.
And I feel that more honest communication is not only possible when the time is right, but productive too, and certainly more rewarding than doing the DB dance which we have all learned so well.
It is a matter of timing, and your situation has also been going on for some time now, so I hope you are able to bring some issues into the light which need to be resolved.
Good luck!
Love and hugs
Jayxxxx
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
Thank you for your support again! Just getting ready now to leave for work. I been going over in my head what to say to H and I think minimal is best, as you say ,without stirring guilt too much.
Just something like.." S26 needs you, you are a good Dad, but he needs time to be with you ,on your own, for him, with no undue pressure otherwise."
I think we have to do this, or we betray our children, in our possibly hopeless efforts to regain our spouses. I know you agree our children must always come first, if at risk of hurt or harm. Our efforts should not condone or turn a blind eye to this. I cannot understand why H who worksin child care and education, was reknown for his sensitivity and understanding with children,can think it willl be good to force his sons and G/Fs to see OW ,by emotional, financial pressure and bribery, against their wishes. Turns them more against her I suspect. This drive seems above his wish to see and have time with his son. This type of push also shows in other relationships , family and friends,where he has forced the issue.
I know it is easy to blame OW but from what I have heard she is managing most of their lives, and does push , try to take control,and try to insinuate herself with family and friends.. It works with some, but not with a bitterly betrayed son whose hero he once was. Thank you for your good wishes!
Calder, I haven't seen any of your posts for a while. What day was your birthday? Happy birthday to you. Mine was on 11/24 and I kept it quiet and worked on my house. I still miss husband and our family but I'm pushing myself forward to at least try for the things in life I want. If I don't do it...I don't know who will.
I really do need to get some sleep...so, happy holidays to you and I'll bookmark your post.
Not chatted in a while! Hope you are well! I suspect you are still busy and working at least 3 jobs!
Happy Birthday to you too! Mine was on 19/11/06 and was the big 60.I am still getting pressies and cards here.. I cannot believe it. Two pressies today and a card.
This makes me feel so much better than before,when it was a bit of a dark hole to plunge into.
Now I know I am just still me inside, it makes no difference .. Let the years roll on.. I am still me! I don't feel 60..
I am well and fit, and very active, so going on !
Drop nothing.. do whatever I can, Happy Holidays to you too! Take care and do not overwork.. You always seem to be soooo busy!
Well H did not show and had phoned earlier to say he has a tummy bug!
Last time it was an abcess!
Wemade time for next Thursday. I was very sympathetic.
I now will enjoy meal I cooked with my girl friend Annie!
He does not seem at his most fit at present, while I am pretty fit and have not been ill in a few years. Take care!
