How lovely to have those tokens of friendship and love, but they are richly deserved!
So a card and a voicemail from h. I am agog, waiting to hear what he wants to talk about. Another meet up perhaps?
It's strange about the social life stuff. Me too, I always had a good social life before I met xh but gave it up for him, as he had the 2 boys. Now I have it back again and all he seems to do is go to the local pub! How boring.
This is certainly my 3rd chance and I know I won't ever give up too much for a relationship ever again!
Love and hugs
Jayxxxx
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
Thank you for your post! Well, I tried phoning H on his mobie tonight but no reply and no message service So I just emailed him that,and to phone me tomorrow if wishes,as out next few nights.
I expect he will want to come out here one evening after work. He usually has his meal here ,then chats.. can stay 2-3 hours. All sociable.. like nothing has happened.That is the hard bit.
He wants to photograph the classic car ,in bits, which is in the garage, and was part of his retirement project,now to be sold.
(Like his Father's metal working workshop he inherited, also for retirement,also to be sold..)
How he is going to do it not sure.
Bits in 2 garden sheds, the attic, garage and under a bed in spare room!
Well I am sticking with me good female friends.. I know who will be there for me if NG etc ,goes pearshaped. So I agree.
Not give all up for a man ever again! Try to get both if possible!
I've been rushing around, singing and already planning next year's festival! Yes, keeping a life of our own which works for us has to be key. The difficult bit might be fitting a man into mine!
It must be hard to see your h and spend a seemingly lovely evening together, I'm not sure I could put myself through that, although I think it's exactly the right thing for you.
Has he seen the new bathroom yet?
Well, I have certainly moved beyond DBing with R. His 15 year old e mailed me again on Monday and seems so sad again, and to be blaming himself because his dad doesn't spend time with him. I have e mailed Rhett a couple of times, giving my professional opinion. Joe lost his mum when he was 6 (I didn't mention effectively losing his dad to MLC at 12) and I explained how that might have affected his emotional maturity and influenced the need for greater closeness than most lads his age. I was as tactful and positive as I could be but R still seemed a bit defensive. But I'm past caring, I just hope he does something for Joe because I'm genuinely worried about him. I broke my own no contact rule, but all in a good cause. I also mentioned his new relationship, first time ever.
Has your h got in touch yet?
Much Love
Jayxxxxx
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
Yes S did phone me back. We had a strange conversation.I was all bright and quite chirpy, while he though pleasant and friendly ,was more hesitant and flat in his tone. I had all the news and family stuff, was telling re MY new bathroom, he has not seen,busy life and super He was asking to meet and I offered here as I knew he was wanting to photo his old MG Midget in garage to sell.I think he also likes to touch base here now and again. He took me up right away,though we agreed not easy to take photos, as garage so full of stuff, his, mine and boys!
I really hope R does make contact with Joe in a supportive way.. heeds your call.I think you are completly right.. the weans come first.. we owe it to them not to make them suffer in our mess and chaos.
I am pleased as on IM with S26 who has depression around his Dad and bad contact.I now got plan between boys that they meet Dad together, without OW, whom they do not like. So see how that goes.
Hope it helps S26's mood and conflicts.I made it clear I support him in seeing his Dad who was a great Dad to him. He said he just wants to see me happy too. so pleased about NG.
It is late and up in a few hours.. So best go now!
You're an inspiration. You sound SOOO good. I can hear how happy you are in your posts. You need no advice; I just love reading what you have to say because it's uplifting and reminds me that there is a way out of this hell eventually. love, Hope
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Thank you for your lovely reply. It is a big step forward for me.. but life is good and fun.. I am waiting for New Guy to come to take me out for my 60 th birthday meal. I have some suspicions that more may be involved, due to various hints.. but will see! I still have a bit of a roller coaster.. but it mainly feeling good and happy, with low sweeps at times But I know these are temporary and will pass and I still will have a life full of happiness, purpose, friendship and fun. That is what it is about.
It is there, we just need to get into the frame of mind to reach out and take it, take a risk. Plus let go of bitterness and a need to go back. We never can.We must go forward , and accept the new and the change..
So much out there can be so good for us!
My friend said to me I had so come out of my shell! I do feel like a new person in so many ways and wish I had felt like this before.
This " Me" was tempered in the harsh hurting fire of betrayal and loss. My sons and all are just happy to see me bounce back with spirit.. even if at times it is a role I play. But then everyone does that. For me it is more and more genuine. The key is not to let ANYONE control your life and moods.. your wishes and hopes. Children must come first of course.. but our lives do not now belong to a relationship, or another.
We now have that gift in our own hands.
Our duty is to live the best and happiest life we can. We can do that! No-one, no regrets should distract us. The happier we are.. the happier we make those around us and so it goes on.. It works.. give yourself time, love and trust. Take care!
Not much time to respond here but I wanted to wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! It sounds like you are fully enjoying it. You Go Girl! I also want to parrot Hope and tell you what a great inspiration you are to me also, with your forward looking and positive attitude.
Thank you! Sorry for late reply but been busy weekend.
Well it was a surprise meal and party for me.
15 of the walking group,all waiting there for a buffet meal .I was just so touched and moved> They sang Happy Birthday and cheered! Then one of the guys arrived dressed as Santa, with two pillow cases filled with presents, cards, flowers!
Well I never had a full party to myself before for my birthday. Even my 21 was shared ,as we were hard up students and a group of us did it.. With family ,usually a meal.
I was almost in tears. After the meal we all went to my friend's house to continue the party,where there was a cake with candles ,a photo of me out walking ,on the icing. The house was all decorated and lots more food and drinks.
The party was great! To be honest my 60th birthday has in many ways been the best and biggest I have ever had! As I said before my life has changed, and instead of being a quiet,shy, wee wife n social worker, slightly overweight with a very quiet predictable life,only one or two close friends,I now am pretty fit,slim, have such a busy, active life at the centre of a lot of good friends, and family.
All thanks to MLC and WAH!
Oh and GAL and DBs, all the other LBS!
So all I can say is to go for it,while it still hurts, but you will get there, your own place in the end too! Take care LR, I hope things are moving forward for you too.
It sounds like you are fully enjoying it. You Go Girl! I also want to parrot Hope and tell you what a great inspiration you are to me also, with your forward looking and positive attitude.