I don't know exactly what's going on, but something is up with the W. It seems as though she turned cold on me again after wed. night. She has stopped persuing me, and is talking to OM again. I believe they spent the night together last night, but can't prove it. I'm thinking that maybe she snooped around on my computer wed night and saw the phone records or maybe saw that I had a Myspace page. On our way to Thanksgiving dinner, we were talking about tattoos, when she said that I should get one with a wolf coming out of a sheeps skin. When I went back and read the letter she wrote me a few days ago, she had written a line about how she had never trusted men before, that she thought they were all wolves in sheeps clothing, and how I was different. So, I think something made her decide that I was just like all the rest. I don't know, just all speculation. All I can do right now is make myself happy. If I keep chasing her and trying to please her, I'll just end up being pulled down again, and getting stomped on.
I have been talking to a few women lately. It's really nice to have them wanting to talk and go out. I haven't been out with any yet though. But after being pushed aside for so long and feeling unwanted, this is a nice change. The only problem is, that I don't really want any of them. I want My wife. I miss her, and when she's around, I want to touch her and hold her, and sometimes that creeps her out. That hurts. I really wish she would just talk to me, and say what's on her mind. Sorry, just journaling and venting.
