Oh my GAWD, your wife is SUCH a woman (coming from a woman herself). Her nose is bent out of joint because you are out of town, getting phone numbers... and she goes out to dinner with OM while she is staying at YOUR house, calling YOU to TELL you about it. <WHOOP GIGGLE, SLAP MY KNEE!!> Uh huh. Jesus, this woman is text book.
I would be worried if she were at her apartment, YOU were calling HER, and she told you... I'm sorry, I can't be in your life because I am going out to dinner with OM for his birthday.
<MAJOR EYE ROLL>
Good for you. I hope you have/had a SMASHING good time on the coast, I hope you collected a gazillion phone numbers, 'cuz you are one HUNKY STUDLY dude, and I hope for your sake, you got laid. Er, well, you know.
Corri, if you like that, I got a similar one. My wife moved in with her "just a friend" and got all worried, called me craying the next day after seeing me dressed up one night, thought I was going out on a date! (she doesn't know that I know who she lives with)
Thanks for the compliment Corri !!! It might actually mean something if you knew what I looked like !! hahahaha! Just got back home. I decided that since she told me she was staying sunday night too, that I would just wait until Monday to return. I never told her what my plans were exactly though. She called me at about 10:15 last night....I didn't answer the phone, besides I was in a bar listening to live music at the moment. I know she was wondering if I was coming home or not. I guess she thought that if I knew she was gonna be there, that I would rush home to be with her...WROOOOOONG!
She gets off in about 30 minutes, but I think I'll go to the gym to catch up on my excorsizes (SP?). That'll really mess her up.
When I got back to my friend's house I texted her (thinking she'd be asleep) that I saw I missed her call, and that I'd be home on monday. She immediately called me. We talked a little and I told her that I needed to go.
This morning when I got up, she had sent me a text msg saying be careful driving up and that she missed me this weekend. I replied with AWWWWW , that's sweet.
Well, I've got a cpl of numbers, and i think I'll start calling them. Oh yeah, She hasn't worn her wedding rings since she left. They're on my end table by the sofa. means she's been wearing them. I just so happened to have left mine on my dresser in plain sight. Previously, I had them on everytime she saw me.
But yes, I had a blast this past weekend. I'll bet some of you know where the Flora-Bama Bar is. Had two women dancing with me at once........I'm goin'back !
I'll tell ya what would be cool; If I could get her to snoop through my cell phone, coz i took a pic of the girl that gave me her digits ( she actually put them in my phone herself), and she's 28, pretty as hell, and got boobs as big as your head ! AND.....(drumroll please) lives in our town !
Okey Dokey, here's the update: I went to the gym. W called while I was there (from my home phone) and I didn't answer. I came home when I got through. We just hung out a little. I got a shower and got ready to go to work. She asked me if I was avoiding her. Told her no. We looked through a book about butterflies to get some ideas for a tattoo that she wants me to design for her. She wanted me to help her put her belly button ring in, I did that. What a pain in the azz ! She kept saying that I acted as if things were awkward. She was picking at me about the weekend, and mentioned something about maybe I had sex with someone. I told her that I had a lot of fun, but I didn't get to have THAT much fun. she huffed " well you act like you wanted to" I replied with " wellYEAH!" ( like DUH!) I'm a man, I've got needs. She says I could use my hands ! (I'm gonna get kicked off the board for this !) Told her I was tired of using my hands. I said she should try using hers. See the thing that makes this funny and relevant is that she had told me a cpl of wks ago that they were friends who filled each others needs.
I had asked her about the wedding rings and she said she had been wearing them. I said I'll bet ya didn't wear them Saturday night! she said she did. TORO CACA!
Anyway, we go to leave. her on her way back to her apt. and me to work.The conversation went like this. ME (M): Seeya, I'm gone. Her (H): Wait a minute, don't run off. M:whats up? H: Why are you acting so awkward around me? I came over becouse I wanted to see you. i was here all weekend becouse I missed you. I wanted to talk. M: What did you want to talk about? H: I just wanted to be with you. (she had mentioned earlier that I should call in and spend the evening with her.)What's wrong ?? M: Look, don't you remember what we talked about Sunday? I told you that if you're involved with him, I don't want to be involved with you. H: yeah, but it's not in that capacity. M: (calm cool and collective, direct) Well, even if it's just as friends and you're just talking, I don't want to be involved with you. H: (head down, sad and walking to her car) oh, ok.
Well, I had no problem with this. Didn't feel bad at all, felt very good actually. About 15 mintes later I recieved this text message:
"It hurts and I guess I deserve it, but all I was trying to do was reach out to you.Try to rebuild our friendship, then go from there. Guess it's too late. Nite. " I never did reply or call her back.
Worked though didn't it? At least she definitely knows the boundry now. All new territory for you now....keep us posted and keep up with the GAL....it is working....definitely working...
She is having doubts. Good going for you! I don't know if I would be able to take it quite that far... the "guess its too late" line woulda had me reeled in hook line and sinker! I gotta remember your strength if I get in that situation!!!
STRENGTH? Idunno, I think it's more like just being fed up. As far as the "guess it's too late" line...100% guilt trip attempt. Now she can do what she wants. She can keep seeing him and leave me the hell alone, or she can get her act together and try to salvage our relationship. But to be honest with you, I really am on the fence right now. I don't know that I would be as gung ho to work on it as I was a few months ago. I guess working on myself has resulted in my realizing that I don't need her. I can be just fine without her. I WANT HER to be in my life, but I don't want to live with the mistrust either. She would have to make some serious effort to rebuild the trust.
Right now, the game plan is to do my own thang. talk to some women, maybe even go on a date, and let her sweat it out. I have been WAAAAY more patient and understanding than most men would have been.
CAUTION!! DRAMA APPROACHING RAPIDLY ! LOL I was logged on yesterday afternoon, and about to write an update post when she called me. I didn't answer the phone. I waited a few minutes to call her back and told her I saw that I had missed her call. We talked for about an hour and 15 minutes !!! VERY deep conversation. ended with her crying and me keeping my calm.
Seems she thought that her not sleeping with OM would be enough to allow us to start slow, as friends, and build on that. I told her that I agree, but WILL NOT put forth the effort with him in her life in ANY way. She said that alot of what drives her to stay in contact with him is guilt on her part for being partially responsible for his sitch. I did tell her that I will have no problem dating now. I had done exactly what I said I'd do. Now I have a clear concience to proceed with my life. I did tell her that she shouldn't be confused, that I do love her very much. She said, "I always believed that, but you are about to make some huge changes that'll make it hard for me to believe anymore.". I said " really? then why would I believe you when you say you love me? STUMPED HER ! She says the fog is starting to clear, and that the therapy is helping. I told that I was glad, and that I could tell a difference, and she needs to continue working on herself. I will continue working on improving myself. like I said. the talk was long. Lots of drama. She keeps saying that she feels like she doesn't deserve me. thats a product of her abuse. I know she's having it rough, but I also know that my pandering to her every wish will get me stepped on alot. It actually feels pretty damned good to have her persuing me for a change. I really wish I had a transcript for the whole conversation.
BigB, you continue to amaze me... good luck. Proceed with caution, I see that this could easily got either way yet, but the possibility for good is definitly there!
