Personally, no, I would not do holidays together. I think it is a bad idea. Have you filed yet? if not, all you've done at this point is ask for a D. Remember when I told you that as soon as you set a boundary, it will be tested?
Right now, your actions are not congruent with your words, and soon she will begin to notice. This will do more damage to you in the long-run, I think, than if you never brought up the D to begin with. Remind yourself why you did. NOT spending the holidays together underscores the 'we're not together anymore.' Spending the holidays together makes your boundary sound like a distant threat.
That whole "Get A Life' part of DBing is really important right now... even if it just seems like you are Getting A Life. If she calls you on the phone and you want to talk, fine. But I wouldn't be pursuing her in any way... especially if she is still seeing OM. If she wants to bring YOU soup, fine. I wouldn't be going out of my way to see her... but I would not avoid her if she comes looking for you... unless you don't want to see her. And when she does show up or call, do the whole DB thing... friendly, cheerful... not always available.
What happened to your weekend away? Jeese, man, get OUT OF TOWN for a bit...
And the next time someone asks you "do you live here?" Say 'no, sure don't, just visiting.' That's all anybody needs to know.
