HEY Y'ALL. No real news here, just journaling tonight. W called me this afternoon when I got off work. She asked me if I wanted some homemade soup she had made a couple of days ago. She was getting tired of it. At first I told her no, becouse I was planning on being out of town all weekend. We talked a little while I was driving home ( don't like to talk on cellph and drive) I was being positive and had my PMA going on. When we were closing our conversation, I noticed that she sounded really down. I called her back and told her that I changed my mind and would take the soup, and that I would come on by and pick it up.
She handed me the soup, which was already in a Tupperware type container. I said Thanks and did a little small talk and told her that I'd get on out of her hair. She quickly told me that I didn't need to rush, so I sat down and we talked. The subject of Thanksgiving came up, along with what she was going to get her nephews and nieces for Christmas. I told her that I almost dreaded the holiday season becouse it would be kind of awkward going to family events alone. her family is having thanksgiving dinner next weekend, so that everybody can go to their other family's dinners on Thanksgiving day. I told her that if she didn't have plans she could go with me to my family's Dinner on Thanksgiving day (big extended family function). She's afraid that my family is mad at her and embarraced to go. I assured her that they are not mad at her. I told her another reason the holidays would be awkward is that I miss seing her family too. She told me that I could go with her to their Dinner, but I told her that I wasn't trying to invite myself. She later told me that she might go with me. I don't know. Gonna be weird, no matter what.
I asked her if she was OK, becouse she sounded so down on the phone. She said that it was just life. so that means she was feeling sad. We had a good hug. I left to go get ready for my son's football banquet. As I was getting in my truck I spoke to a lady that was moving into an apartment below hers. She asked me which apartment I lived in. I said " oh, I don't live here...uhmmm, my wife does". Man, talk about a weird feeling, to hear that come out of my mouth and imagine what she must of thought. She just said ahh, and smiled. The first thing I thought about was, great, now she's going to see OM coming and going too. that sucks. AAaaaanyway, went home got cleaned up and dressed up pretty nice, took my son to the banquet, went and got him a frame for his Certificate and stopped by a bar on the way home.The place was packed, lots of women too. I talked to a few, just small talk, as it was very loud inside. I only had one beer and left. I felt like I had "lonely" written across my forehead and every woman could see it. I know thats my own low self esteem or something, but I just couldn't get into a good mood. Never have been much into the bar scene. It's alot of fun if you are with a bunch of friends, but alone is awkward feeling. I was in a really good mood earlier today and now I'm down, and I guess it's becouse I miss her so much right now. Comes and goes.
