A new begining......

[brueniap]

I am trying to be realistic in the fact that my life will never be the same as it was before MLC.

That trust issue was something I thot a great deal about until one day something new occurred to me. My friends don't trust my H at all - we all know of his past. My best friend said to me one day - I don't trust "h" but I do trust you! She knew that I was getting my leadings from what God would have me do and so knew to stay out of it with what she thinks. As I thot about that I said "hey, that's the way H feels". He does not trust me either. He's not ready to commit to coming back because he is afraid it will go right back to what it was. And of course I don't trust him totally either. BUT........and this is a huge BUT...........I trust my God implicitly. I have seen what He has done over the last 10 months of my life. It is beyond anything I could have imagined.

And isn't this where my hope and trust have to be? Not in my husband........but rather, in my God who is the One doing the healing. As soon as I start getting antsy about things I refocus on what I KNOW God has shown me and take my eyes off H. Then the peace comes back in.

As human beings we can not be totally trustworthy - none of us - we all fail at many things. But with God as our conduit, our healer, our everything........we can move on with confidence even tho we do not know what our future holds.

Now that I cling to God's hand - I find it so much easier to be vulnerable to H which is not a place I was able to be before. I was filled with too much fear of being hurt. But you know? That fear is what hurt the marriage so much. I was unable to love the way he needed me to- I held back.

Thank God for the last 10 months.

As for you..........you have muddled thru 4 years and suddenly it seems to be coming to an end. Can it really be? Can you trust this? If you hold on to the hand of your God, who has brot you this far........you can trust it completely. You have a great life in store for you two as a couple. Keep your love growing with each other and you will be able to handle the other stumbling blocks that come your way.

I wish I could give you $900 for a ticket. That is a ridiculous price. Alas, I don't have it - it's tough to buy presents for my kids - which is not likely to happen this year. I know you're not asking for money - just wanted you to know - if I could I would cuz you are very special.

Was2!!!!!! Wow...........what a post........thank you......I think that was for me!


brue