BND, you always give me such good advice, so I will try to give you my 2 cents.
First of all, I don't think it's a bad thing. He may just be scared to fall into a boring routine. You guys have been separated for 2 years. It could be fun rediscovering each other again.
Remember when you were dating, how you loved to find out new info about each other. Well he might be looking at it like that. You have changed and so has he. He is rediscovering you, and he may love that. Keep a little mystery about yourself. Don't lay all your cards out on the table for him to see. Give him one at a time.
Your H has proclaimed that he wants you. You are heading in the right direction. You and he have come so far, you can do this!
BND... For now, I would take it as a good thing. Look, he has opened up and shared with you some honest feelings about the marriage. Yes, these men are in MLC, they have some sort of depression...but there is a kernel of truth in what they are experiencing ( except it then gets distorted/delusional/wacky).
I'd validate his feelings and go have some fun! You need to build up the positives first.
Ultimately he will have to learn how to handle his mixed feelings ( and so will you, because there will be bad days). But it's easier to get through the yuck stuff when overall, there is spark ( and hope ) in the air.
I think your husband's comments to you are a VERY good thing! He doesn't want to fall into a rut again - Good! He wants to keep the R exciting, fun, fresh - good! I know I would prefer that too, and I'm not in MLC. You see those old couples holding hands and kissing, sparkles in their eyes. Don't you want that too when you are still together 40 years from now? Of course you do, but you're tired right now. Kids, doctors appts, Xmas shopping, bills to pay, house to run - geez!
So here's my assignment, for you to ponder: What would you need to have happening in your life, to be able to nurture that "sparky" feeling inside yourself and keep it fresh? Now that you are moving in a different (Yay!) direction in your M, you need NEW strategies. I know you have employed some of these (getting Brazilians is just one I know about!) But when you are tired and have too much on your plate it is hard to be creative. Your H is saying, let's keep our M creative. Let's invent new things, let's surprise each other. Let's take some risks! So two things: What strategies do you need to take on, to open up the space for you to have fun and be creative? And then, what creative things and new ideas and surprises do you want to throw in the mix? What would be fun for you to invent?
You are the best, BND. First thing you need, take a little time for yourself today. Pamper yourself, and also take a breather. Then everything will start opening up. There is nothing to fear. It's all good news! Rejoice. Sing a song. Dance. Take a long luxurious bath. Some things for you today, BND. And it will all fall into place. Hugs to you
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
I will throw in 100$ FOR THE AIRFARE, TO GET YOUR H HOME FOR CHRISTMAS....I AM TOTALLY SERIOUS. HOPING THERE ARE SOME OTHERS WITH A LITTLE LOOSE CHANGE TO CONTRIBUTE. .....FINALLY, A CHARITY WE ALL KNOW WE CAN TRUST--------RSVP-----
J-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I have to agree with everyone else BND. I think it's a good thing he has brot up to you. As I am reading now the "proper care and feeding of husbands" - I think that's all this is about. Re-read some of it. We have to keep things fresh, fun, full of love - no matter what else is going on in our lives. The most important unit is the marriage unit - and when it's failing - then the rest of the family unit fails.
don't worry and have fun with this. Your H will be the envy of every Husband out there. He will be beaming with his "new" bride and his new life - which should be able to stay this way amidst the ups and downs of life.
You'll do just fine. You do need a pampering tho - a little R and R - can someone watch the kids for you to grab a couple hours to yourself.
love you
brue
I'm alive, I'm happy - why shouldn't I tell the world I've got my head screwed back on just fine. Life is good for the Brue!
I think it's a very good thing. I think he wants to date YOU and think of YOU not as the mom of his kids, but as his woman. Don't just be "mom" and "wife," be everything!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Quote: I will throw in 100$ FOR THE AIRFARE, TO GET YOUR H HOME FOR CHRISTMAS....I AM TOTALLY SERIOUS. HOPING THERE ARE SOME OTHERS WITH A LITTLE LOOSE CHANGE TO CONTRIBUTE. .....FINALLY, A CHARITY WE ALL KNOW WE CAN TRUST--------RSVP-----
I will throw in $100 too!!! BND - can we make this happen???????? You're up to $200 now!!!!
Hi BND... I agree with everyone elese that your H's comments are a good thing. He wants to keep the M spiced up. Wouldn't you want that too - for it to saty fresh and exciting always? NNot to worry at all...PH
BND, How much is it this time of year? Let us do this!! And everyone with a couple extra bucks, CHIP IN ASAP!!!
j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Hugs to you 
