I was just reading your response to me on my thread so thot I would answer you over here on yours. I've been a little anxious myself over wanting H to get his butt back home (cuz I truly believe he is headed this direction). I give myself the usual "be patient" and whatever else I need to do.
But church summed it up in a beautiful way for me this morning. I had never looked at it this way before. It is the first Sunday of Advent and we are in the "preparing" stages of getting ready for our Lord to come. It was spoken to us how important it is to be prepared.
It is that way in everything we do in life. It's best to be as prepared as we can be so we are not caught off-guard.
Every time something comes up that delays your H's homecoming just remind yourself that it is one more day you have to get prepared for his homecoming. I know it's one more day for the Lord to work on my heart for me to learn new things. I guess that's why I was so excited to write this morning to you - I just am seeing my whole life come together before my eyes - remembering how I've been in the past and honestly seeing how I contributed to the problem. This no longer makes the claim that it is all about him and what he wanted or wants - now I see how I helped to get us to this place.
I could only come over here to say this because I guarantee that none of my friends would see it. I am pretty mild mannered in about everything I do especially compared to many - but when I see my personality coming out in books as normal for women who drive away their spouses - I do sit up and take notice.
OMG - it IS sinking in to my soul. Each day deepens the healing and gets me more prepared for when he does have the courage to say "I'm coming home" for sure. Right now I know he's testing the waters. There's no question how I've changed. But I was like this, of course, before we married. So why will it be different now if he comes home? Because I have learned what insecurities I had within me that were totally uncalled for. This is a major growth for me. Only I know, deep inside, that I am ready to do this again (this marriage thing) because my heart has totally changed. He won't know that about me til he comes home.
So preparing is good BND - even if the delays are frustrating - you can get one more thing ready that will help make it the perfect homecoming.
brue
I'm alive, I'm happy - why shouldn't I tell the world I've got my head screwed back on just fine. Life is good for the Brue!
