Trying to piece this marriage together long distance is so hard. Having a phone relationship with my Husband is trying.
Please don't get me wrong. We talk for hours each day.
It isn't that I am ungrateful for the efforts he is making.
It is the daily grind of still doing everything alone and taking care of the kids and the house and feeling very unfulfilled.
I want to go back to work or school. I want something for myself. I want some financial independence, I don't like being at his mercy for everything.
Unfortunately I can not put my S5 in school until H is actually home because of the hours and the childcare arrangements.
I spoke to my H today. I told him that I felt depressed and he wanted me to talk to him about it.
Yes he listened but he tried to solve the problem for me and he told me that I need to basically pull myself up from this and be grateful for the things I do have.
Maybe he feels somewhat guilty because of the situation I am in and for now he can't do anything.
But I came away feeling like a child and I don't feel understood.I want my feelings validated. I want him to see that I am lonley and I am tried of being the strong one all of the time.
I know that he is trying to sort things out with his job situation so he can be home permanently.
I have been patient for so long now and I just want it all NOW!!
I know I sound unreasonable and stupid.
He will be here in a few days and I am happy about that but then he will have to leave again and might not be able to make it for Christmas as his goal is to be back in the begining of January for good.
So I suppose the grown up thing to be doing right now is to focus on the positives and stop dwelling on so many negatives.
So somebody slap me and tell me what to do
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
