I learned this from my S20 because that is what his friends now call me
I want to share something personal with you.
Believe it or not my H really had a low blow to his self esteem once he began coming out of MLC.
At first I had this thing in my head that he needed to be working on issues with me.
Trying to make me feel better about things. Making me feel loved and secure and showing major remorse for everything that has happened.
After a while I realized how very scared he is of me rejecting him.
He doesn't always feel "worthy" of my love or forgivness.
I turned the tables on him. I have made a point of making sure he KNOWS I find him attractive and that I want to be with him sexually.
I make sure that I touch him alot, tell him that he looks great, and really make a big deal about how much he turns me on.
In bed I make sure I tell him how he makes me feel and afterwards thank him for making me feel so good.
In the begining he would ask me if I was sure, or if I really meant this. (this was my 180)
Our sex life has become amazing and even though he is away right now, we send each other sexy text messages or emails and at times there is even phone sex.
( I am totally blushing here )
The reason I share this with you is because your Husband may feel the same way about himself.
Originally I bought myself VS things for myself, now that my H is back on track I ask for his opinion about what he likes me to wear for him.
I ask him what makes him happy and what turns him on.
I am definately begining to see the changes in him and I do not mind boosting his ego, I also get to reap the benefits if he is really feeling good about himself in this area too
Shame and guilt can definately inhibit a mans sex drive and he needs to know by your actions that you want him.
A couple of years ago my H refused to go near me and was filing for a Divorce. Now he is making plans for OUR future together.
It just takes time and patience.... And sexy panties
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
