You people must think I am psycho. One minute I'm up and the next I'm down. I really see a pattern here. Maybe I should be medicated - could have nothing to do with my sitch and everything to do with me and my raging, perimenoupausal hormones I will need to look into this more.

In any case, I cannot stand myself like this. My H has been doing all the right things. He does come straight home from work EVERY day, he doesn't go out drinking anymore. We have fun together. So....I just called him. I wouldn't be able to function at work without clearing the air. I apologized for being so selfish, me-me-me. I told him that initially his note hurt my feelings but then I realized that I hurt him for years (his words). He kept saying forget about it, it's ok. I said just hear me out, I told him that I do appreciate that he has been here and doesn't go out anymore. I told him that after everything that has happened this past year I now realize more than ever just how much I love and care about him and want to be with him. He kept saying, thank you, that is so nice, we will be ok, don't worry so much. Then talked logistics about the kids and T-Day. Short convo since he was really busy but at least I feel better and can go to work without all of the anxiety.

Talk about a rollercoaster, I am my own personal ride

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my friends!