Always, thank you so much for posting to me. You always know how to get me out of my funk.

Yesterday was really tough. We didn't speak on the phone all day. I so badly wanted to call him after S5's skating lesson but resisted the urge. When he came home (right on time) son and I were out front, he just looked at me, well more like glared and went in the house. We didn't speak at all and I stayed in a different part of the house. He asked me about our refinancing and that was it. When I left for work he didn't even respond goodbye. It was so hard to put on my happy face and deal with people all night.

I brought him home a sandwich, like I always do when we are out of lunchmeat, to bring for his lunch today. He was asleep when I got home, I went into our room anyway and quietly woke him to let him know, he said thank you several times and good night. I wanted to talk more but left it alone. Glad I did, cause I usually make things worse.

I came here and read A14's post. Wanted to leave a note for H but decided against that also. This morning I was really hoping he would have left me a note but he didn't. I have to work today until 5:30, kids are off from school so I am farming them out to friends. H needs to pick them all up so I want to call him about that but he is a grown up so he doesn't need me to remind him.

I can't believe everything I have worked so hard for has blown up over mashed potatoes! Really I know that wasn't it. What might have happened is this; H went rollerblading after work on Monday and then did some errands, he was gone for 2-1/2 hours in which time he could have been talking to OW, who knows, maybe that is why he was in a bad mood. In any case, Thanksgiving has now been ruined , we are spending it with my family - yipee - how to act like everything is ok when it clearly is not.

I wish H didn't feel this way. In fact, because I almost lost him this year it made me realize how much I do love and care about him and how much I do desire to be with him