What to expect...part two (OT, Betsey , need ya)

[cat03]

That's forgiveness. Sooner or later that's what we have to do for our WAS who are repentant and willing to climb back up the mountain with us. And the interesting thing is that by releasing them we're really releasing ourselves, too. In the end, that's what love really is.

thanks TL for yet another nugget of wisdom.

I guess us LBS expect so much real soon, still waiting for them to "make it up" to us. It is so very true what TL said in his post, they had nothing to offer when they came back, only their broken selves, my H told me this repeatedly over and over before he came back, that he was empty, had nothing to give me.

H also told me that when I (in the past) brought up stuff from the past he felt unworthy because he still feels low. There is a "sack" they are carrying which we dont' see, we too hurt, but we tend to forget how much it took for them to come back, let's not add to the bag.

It was hard to hug and kiss a man who seemed he could do without both, but i kept it up. Now my H does kiss & hug back, he warmed up to me, and I make sure we kiss whenever he leaves and I hug/kiss him when he comes back.