What to expect...part two (OT, Betsey , need ya)

[Underdog]

Mama,

Sorry I'm late for the party! I've been busy as heck away from the PC.

I have been working alot of night shifts lately and as I leave I usually get a hug and a peck on the cheek.

Hmm, Mama. Are you saying that he usually initiates with the hug and peck?

I'll hold off on commenting about the "something still feels wrong statement". I've got some ideas.

I hear you on needing affection. So rather than go off like Yosemite Sam, let's dissect your statement and see if we can't shine the flashlight on this stuff.

I need to feel that H loves me and is happy that he decided to stay in our M.

Okay, you're going to get an assignment out of this statement. And take your time. This is really important.

1. What will he be doing specifically when you feel he loves you and has recommitted to the M?

2. What specifically are you doing to speak his LL? Remember, good begets good and bad begets bad. So if you're wanting something from him that you're not giving, your expectations are off kilter.

My rule of thumb: You've got to put out what you want to get back. So, if you want affection, what are you doing to set the climate so that it's possible? What are you doing and saying to make this a viable option? And what are you doing/saying to let HIM know that you love HIM and are committed to the M?

Put some good thought to answering these questions, Mama. I'll be back.

Betsey

p.s. An added reminder: you are just gonna have to learn how to sit still and be, Mama. Rebuilding a R takes a lot of work on both parts. If you're going to make this work, you're going to have to work much harder at your patience in the process. The ones here who have successfully Pieced have been the ones who have been solution and goal oriented rather than ruled by impatience and emotion.

Patience! None of this is going to happen without effort or overnight.