Quote: I had a good session w/C last Friday. Went through some of the things I had done in our M to ruin it. I know, it is said a lot here on this BB that MLC is NOT caused by what LBS do.
There is still so much I have to learn. And now I have to do it the hard way. C agreed that a lot of my behavior would force most W into a WAW. So perhaps mine is just a WAW and is looking for her options left, no MLC. But then she is showing all these MLC signs. Very confusing for me right now.
I think that it can often be a combination. In my case, my H has for some years had some serious personal issues that I either ignored or didn't notice. I think that these issues, coupled with intense stress from life events, eventually led to MLC. However, the MLC MAY not have led to the breakup of our M had we not had problems in that area.
Yes, you did things wrong. Maybe you even messed up really badly; I don't know enough to say. Even so, your W could still be in MLC. I guess what this means is that, like me, you have two issues to deal with: (1) making yourself someone your S will want to come back to (2) when s/he comes out of MLC.
For now, I really think it would be better to just back off and go as dark as you can with a child. As long as D5 is not in danger from this om, that is something you are going to have to let go of, as unfair as it is.
As for EA, I will go against the prevailing winds and say that I disagree. Spending time with FF is one thing; getting emotionally involved is another. How many of us had our Ss say that they were "just friends," then it turned into EA, and then, before they knew it, it was PA. If you still want your M to work (up to you, of course), I think it's wise to stay away from anything that could jeopardize that, as tempting as it is.
Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
