No, alimony is not court ordered, I will pay what my L told me I'm responsible for. The alternative would be that WAW has to file to get a temporary court order. I can always force her to file by not giving her anything. But I'm not sure if I want her to file. Also b/c of my D5 I don't want her to move away, so WAW will need cash to live here.
Regarding the detachment, I know what you mean. Waking up w/o this horrible feeling, or even to be able to get a good sleep, would be nice.
I think I tried to make this M work. But WAW was actually looking for somebody better. And found another Om. While pretending to work on our M and giving Om1 the reassurance he was looking for. That really made me not respecting her anymore. Right now I very much don't like WAW. And unconditional love, I'm too upset and not there.
What I'm going to write next might get me in trouble w/ a lot of people here on this BB. The other day I met this woman. Perhaps I'm going the same way as my WAW. But just being around her was so amazing. No thinking of WAW. I slept well for the first time in more than 8 month. I felt good about myself. Nothing happened, I'm not sure if I will see her again. But just the thing that somebody else was interested in me showed me that life WILL go on, w/ or w/o WAW. I guess I needed that. To get over the depression. I know what some will say, BANDAID. And if I meet her again I don't know what I would do. But I actually might not care about WAW. That's what I meant w/too much detachment. Now I'm selfish.
Probably I'm just to weak to deal w/this sitch any longer. Perhaps I'm starting my on MLC? Got the sports car already recently.
